


Die Hard With Sensibility

by Warbabymoon



Category: Die Hard (Movies), Sense and Sensibility (1995)
Genre: Between worlds, Crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-08-05 00:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16357367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warbabymoon/pseuds/Warbabymoon





	1. Not A Good Day To Die Hard

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmityRavenclawElf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmityRavenclawElf/gifts).



**Chapter One: Not a Good day to Die Hard**

 

It all started with a text message. From Taylor Michaelis, to Erin Hartnell, and Harper Hagan. At least, that was what they all thought. It asked, “Who wants a movie night at my house?” The replies were “Yes” and “When”? The problem was: Taylor never sent such a text message. She did not even have the conversation on her phone. So when Harper and Erin arrived at Taylor’s house the following weekend, she was completely confused.

There was a knock at the front door that day. Her grandparents had gone out to a baseball game, and her parents were on a movie date to see Venom. Not knowing who could possibly be at the front door, she pretended she was calling out to a parent to let them know she was going to open the front door. When she got there, she saw through the side window that two of her friends were standing there in wait of her.

“Huh?” she wondered, opening the front door.

“Taylor!” Harper grinned. “You said you wanted to watch a movie?”

“Er, I did?” Taylor tilted her head to the side. “Are you sure? I don’t recall…”

Erin already had a dubious expression written on her dark face, “You don’t remember? That’s quite odd.”

“I’d remember sending a text message like that,” Taylor told her friends. “Er, well…I don’t want you guys to have come over here for nothing. I suppose I can throw in a few movies and start the popcorn machine. I have the downstairs TV all to myself.”

When Taylor opened the screen door, Harper and Erin both walked inside and kicked off their shoes in the hallway. Then, they followed her into the living room and glanced around.

“Just make yourselves at home. Can I get you guys something to drink? Tea? Water? Juice? Soda? Fireball whiskey? Irish whiskey?”

Harper laughed, “Not without your grandparents here. Water please.”

“Water,” Erin agreed.

“Alright my dudes, I’ll go get water,” Taylor nodded and walked into the kitchen.

As she pulled out two glasses from the cabinet and filled them with water, she heard a strange sound. Looking around, she did not find where the sound came from. Must’ve been the dryer settling, or a box of cereal falling over. Shrugging, she went back into the living room and set down the glasses of water.

“I’ll be back down from my room,” she told them. “What movie do you want? I have Rickman, Rickman, Rickman, and more Rickman.”

Erin giggled.

“ _Harry Potter_?”

“No, that’s my parents’,” Taylor slumped her shoulders.

“ _Die Hard_?” Harper wondered. “Or _Dogma_. I dunno, doll, you choose!”

“I think it’s time for Die Hard,” Taylor mused. “It’s not Christmas until we drop the Hans!”

“I don’t get it,” Erin muttered.

“You will after you see the movie,” Taylor grinned. “Don’t worry, your mom will never know!”

Dashing up the stairs, Taylor rushed to her room and grabbed a few DVDs off of her desk. With the movies in hand, she rushed back down and back into the living room.

“Die Hard!” she squeaked.

“You really love that and Dogma,” Erin commented.

“Well…yeah!!” Taylor grinned. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I? Alan fricking Rickman!”

“So there’s something suspicious about this,” Erin told her, ignoring her last comment. “I mean. If you don’t have the texts, then…is this a trap?”

“A trap…” Taylor repeated as she crouched in front of the Blu-Ray player and put the movie in. Another sound echoed in her ears. Glancing around, she attempted to look for where it came from. It was like a gurgling sound.

“If it’s a trap, then the question becomes what is the trap?” Harper asked.

As Taylor pressed the button for the Blu-Ray player to close, there was a sudden ‘yank’ on all of them. Directly from beside her. Like it came from the TV. All three of the friends exclaimed in surprise and fear as they were taken from the world as they knew it.

 ——

To Taylor’s surprise, she woke up inside a moving vehicle. She was on the floor, with her arms behind her head. The movement of the vehicle was smooth, and only the rumbling of the engine clued her into where she was. Feeling a prod in her side, she jumped. Jolting up, she glanced around and realized she was surrounded by strange men.

The closest man to her was blond, wore glasses, and had a sunken and pallid complexion. This must have been the person who prodded her in the side. Wincing, she shot a glare up at the man but if he caught the glare he did not respond.

“Hans?” the man asked.

“Hans…” Taylor repeated in a voice that was not her own. She touched her throat and blinking in disbelief. That voice was Alan Rickman’s, not hers. “What the fuck…”

“Hans, _bist du in ordnug_?” the man asked her in German.

Taylor wanted to say no, but she could not tell him that. She was the amazing, evil master-mind in the movie _Die Hard_ : Hans Gruber. No, showing weakness could give her away. After searching for a proper response, she nodded.

“ _Ja, mir gehtes gut_ ,” she forced the growl at him. Wait! She did not know German! How did she say that?

“ _Gut. Wir sind da_ ,” the man told her.

There? Where was ‘there’? Wait, she was Hans Gruber and she was speaking German. ‘There’ must mean Nakatomi Plaza. Holy crap! She wanted to exclaim. Oh no…Scratching at her face, her fingers touched the coarse facial hair Alan had kept neatly groomed. It felt strange. In fact, everything felt strange to her. After all, she was in a male body rather than a female body. Her favorite actor’s body, to make things even more embarrassing for her.

Shaking from anxiety, she forced herself to stand up. Forgetting that Alan had injured his leg sometime before the shoot, she put so much weight on the leg standing up that she fell back down with a screech.

“SWEET METATRON,” she cried.

“Hans! _Bist du in ordnug? Dein bein? Has du dein bein verletzt?_ ” the blond asked.

“ _Nein, nein…_ ” Taylor inhaled sharply. _Alan, I love you to death…but holy shit I’m going to cry if I do this again_. Standing up much more carefully this time, she gazed up as the back door opened.

“Let’s go,” she hissed in frustration. Not even through the first twenty minutes of the movie and she was sweating bullets from the agony.

The driver and another man, the men who opened the back of the truck, spun around on their heels and stalked away. Instinctively, she followed him as he led them around the building to get inside. A queer feeling bubbled in her stomach: excitement? Anxiety? Fear?

Pushing the odd feelings away, she led her men through the building and into an elevator. When the doors closed, Taylor caught herself admiring herself in the reflection. Alan Rickman. Except…Hans Gruber. What the hell happened? Although, Taylor could not help but feel really handsome. Suddenly, the doors opened.

“Hans!”

She scowled: she had a job to do. That was not fun. Sighing, she ran inside and joined her team. Although, she wondered if Erin and Harper were there too. If they were, who were they? Was Erin scared? Was she okay? Was Harper okay? Taylor wished she knew. She already missed her friends.

As she unconsciously limped in the lead, she was tossed an item. When she caught it, she examined it. The guard’s master keys. Remembering the scene, she limped to the front doors and used the keys to lock it. She glanced out at the evening: a cool evening in Los freaking Angeles, she mused. A silent night indeed. Oh did Taylor want to bust out laughing at the jokes running through her mind. Anything to make this feel more real, but she could not indulge on her jokes. Instead, she turned around and found her team all in place. Impressed with their timing, she stalked towards the service elevator and pressed the button for the 30th floor.

Taylor stared at her reflection, heart racing. As they drew closer, she could hear their guns cocking out of sync. They were ready to shoot. She was not even close to ready for anything. Not when she was still confused.

When the car stopped and the doors opened, she nervously stepped out and the men began shooting. A painful cacophony of screams and machine guns rang in her ears and she winced hard, trying to avoid covering her ears. Oh did she want to cover her ears and start crying, but she resisted for the sake of playing the role. Luckily no one noticed she was wincing heavily, which meant she could keep the role up longer.

Curiosity ebbed in her mind: was Alan just as sensitive to sound as she was? Or, did the sound sensitivity just stick to her? There was not enough time to figure that out. The employees were being herded like sheep into the middle of the room. As Taylor scanned the people, she hoped she would find Harper or Erin, preferably both. Instead, she caught sight of the protagonist’s wife and the man in charge of the building.

The woman, Holly Gennero, blinked at Taylor. There was something about her gaze that was familiar…

Internally, she felt a tug to begin speaking. Recalling the scene in the movie, she could see Hans/Alan reach down into his blazer and pull out a notebook. The notebook! Glancing down, she reached her right hand into her left pocket inside the blazer and grasped for the small notebook. Once her hand touched it, she grabbed onto it and pulled it out. Then, she opened it up and read the semi-neat handwriting. After registering the words, she glanced up and spoke with her smooth and rich voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” she began quietly. Someone elbowed her in the ribs and she looked up. It was the blond guy. He whispered in a harsh voice for her to speak. Annoyed at her problems with talking normally, she spoke up louder. “Ladies and gentlemen!” Taylor realized her words came out slightly angrier than she had meant.

Embarrassed, she tried to move on before anyone caught it. “Due to the Nakatomi Corporation’s legacy of greed around the world, it is about to be taught a lesson on real power.” Taylor paused to calm herself back down. Her heart was pounding against her chest again. “You…will be witness. If your demands are not met, however…” Taylor inhaled. “You may become participants instead.” She checked Han’s notes. “Now where is Mister Takagi? Where is the man who…used to be in charge?” The words felt dry in her mouth.

There was a long pause. She caught the eye of Ms. Gennero again as she slapped away a man’s hand. Familiarity between the two grew. Was someone she actually knew Ms. Gennero? Before she could process her thoughts, Mr. Takagi was shoved towards her. He looked pretty worried but Taylor extended her hand and offered an uneasy smile.

“Mr. Takagi, how are you?” she greeted in a soft voice. “My name is Hans Gruber.”

Not unexpected, Takagi appeared confused and Taylor lifted her hand to wave towards an elevator. An armed escort led them to the elevator. Taylor glanced behind her at Ms. Gennero. Before she got into the elevator, Taylor saw the woman mouth: “Erin A. Hartnell.” An audible gasp left her mouth. That was Erin!

Before Taylor could mouth back her name, the elevator doors closed and they were being taken to the 33rd floor. Dammit! Taylor mouthed, coming out as a whistle. To keep questions away from her, she whistled part of Ode to Joy. A relaxed façade hid Taylor’s inner turmoil. I have to be dreaming, she thought, although her leg told her otherwise. She internally winced at the pain as she shifted the weight off of her leg. She glanced at Takagi and tried to start small talk with him.

“Nice suit,” she forced out, grasping for the lines in her head. “John Phillips…? London?”

Takagi stared at Taylor and she nodded at him. Hey, she was just about as confused as he was.

“I have two myself,” she remembered. The car stopped and they exited. “Rumor has it, Arafat shops there too.”

Taylor, Karl, Tony, and Takagi all walked into the conference room and into the board room floor. Annoyance built up inside of her: she had to keep playing her part, but she did not know when she could stop. She needed to get back to Erin and find Harper. A pang of anxiety shot through her: what if the henchmen figure out that she was not really Hans Gruber? Would they kill her? Honestly, Taylor did not want to know.

“And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept,” Taylor started. “For there were no worlds to conquer. That’s the benefit of a classical education.” She could only dream of a classical education. America 2010s versus Germany 1960s. If only American education did not suck!

Taylor walked over to the scale model bridge and truly began admiring it. Her attention to detail was that of a brick wall’s. She would have been lucky to even have the attention span for this kind of project. She smiled: if only she could.

“It’s absolutely beautiful,” she complimented Takagi. “I always enjoyed models as a little girl.” After getting a confused expression from Takagi, she felt the blood rush to her cheeks in embarrassment. “Er, a blunder. My apologies, I did not sleep very well last night. A little boy. The exactness, the attention to every conceivable detail, the perfect scaling. It’s perfection.”

Taylor’s heart pounded hard again. She was perhaps the worst liar she ever knew. She never did models as a little girl, but she was amazed by the detail. At least she had something going for her. Karl eyed her dubiously, but shook his head. Takagi stared at her.

“Is that what this is about? Our building project in Indonesia? Contrary to what you people believe; we’re going to develop the region rather than exploit it.”

Taylor straightened and glanced at Takagi.

“Oh, I know exactly what you were going for,” she assured him. “Ehm…I read it…in Forbes.” She forced a smile to her face.

Suddenly, she heard Karl whispering to Tony and she felt her heart jump. Suspicion was spreading. Taylor put a friendly arm around Takagi’s shoulders and guided him towards the board room. She leaned a bit close to him, but tried to pretend it was to use Takagi to walk.

“Takagi-san, whatever happens I really do not want to hurt you,” she whispered. Takagi peered at her, surprised. “I’m not Hans Gruber. I’m Taylor Michaelis. Something strange happened, and I am now in his body in an alternate universe. I promise, I don’t want to hurt you, but I have a role to play. But I’ll do everything I possibly can to avoid hurting or killing you. That is my main goal. Though, on second thought…they may try to kill me if they figure me out.”

“I don’t understand,” Takagi whispered back.

“Honestly, same,” Taylor agreed. “Please believe me, sir. I could never lie about something this serious.” In a louder voice, she added, “Mister Takagi, we could discuss industrialization or men’s fashions all day long, and honestly I would rather do that, but I’m afraid my associate, Mr. Theo, has some questions for you. Sort of…fill-in-the blanks, if you will.”

Out of courtesy, she gestured for him to enter the room. Mr. Takagi and Taylor both sauntered into the room. Anxiety made her heart pound hard against her chest. If it went any faster, she swore it would beat right out of her chest. Be still, my heart, she willed.

When Takagi final stopped before the table, Taylor took a seat. Tony and Karl continued whispering at each other, furiously glaring at Hans. Taylor could hear Karl trying not to scream, “ _Nein! Nein! Nein_!” Everyone looked at them. Abashed, both men fell silent. Silence lingered as Mr. Takagi’s eyes fell upon Theo’s computer screen.

“I-I don’t have the code!” Takagi explained, looking at Taylor. He obviously understood she had a role to continue, and he had to keep going. “They broke in here to access our computer? Any information you lot can get—they’ll wake up in Tokyo in the morning and change it! You can’t!”

“Sit down, please,” Taylor urged gently, the adrenaline coursing through her yet again. _No, Takagi-san, please don’t make me hurt you. I refuse to_. Mr. Takagi sat down after thinking for a few moments.

“We…we’re not interested in your computer,” Taylor forced out. “The money—the $640 million, was it? Yes. Yes, we know full well about that. We need the code to access the vault, sir.”

“Something wrong with Hans?” Theo wondered.

“I’m not sure he’s really Hans…” Karl muttered.

Taylor ignored them, “So…?”

“You want money?” Takagi asked Theo. “What kind of terrorists are you?”

Taylor shook her head, “Not really terrorists…” Musing in her head, she thought, _none of y’all have seen terrorists…travel to 2018 and you will see those fuckers everywhere. They’re called white supremacists…Oh, and the terrorists are also in the White House._ “The code, Mister Takagi?”

“It’s useless to them! There’s seven safeguards to our vault, and the code key is only one of them. You could never get it open,” Mr. Takagi told her.

Feeling the henchmen’s eyes on her, she realized perhaps this was when she had to pull out the gun. Nervous, she reached for Han’s gun and pulled it out. Absentmindedly, she weighted the gun in her hand, “Well, I suppose that just means there isn’t a reason you can’t tell us. Please don’t make me shoot you.”

She could hear Karl mutter, “Hans should just kill him, now!”

“I don’t know it, Miss Michaelis!” Mr. Takagi caught himself too late. Taylor blinked in disbelief. “Er, Mr. Gruber!”

Taylor understood though. She was not mad at him.

“What did you call our boss?” Karl snarled.

“Mr. Gruber!” Takagi exclaimed.

“Fuck,” Taylor whispered.

“Kill him already!” Tony growled.

“If you’re Hans,” Karl sneered.

Taylor stared at the gun, pointed it at Takagi, but shot away from him with a wince. She felt the recoil travel up her arm, and a pressure fell over her ears from the deafening sound of her glock. Moments passed before the pressure dissipated.

“I don’t take orders from you, Karl,” Taylor sneered with a glare at the man. “Next time you order me around, I will kill you.”

“You’re not Hans,” Karl took Takagi by his shoulder. “If you won’t kill him, then I will.” He pointed his machine gun in Takagi’s back and Taylor sprung to her feet, landing heavily on the injured foot. Unconsciously, she gasped in pain and nearly buckled at her knees from the agony.

“Don’t hurt him!” Taylor inhaled sharply against the pain. “Don’t. He has nothing to do with this.”

Takagi looked at her, watching her wincing as she stood back up. When she caught his eye, he mouthed to her, “Leave me.” Horrified, she glanced up at Karl as he got ready to pull the trigger.

“GO!” Takagi snapped at her.

Just as Karl pulled the trigger, Taylor had spun around on her feet and hobbled out of the room. The deafening sound of the gun almost physically hurt her ears as she hurried. Her heart raced with her legs as they carried her to the emergency staircase.

“SHIT!” Karl raged in the background. “Get him!”

Taylor turned and shot at them as she ran. She backed right into the door and pushed it open with her back. The sound of it opening echoed around her as she backed into the stairwell. Once she was far enough in, the door slipped from her and slammed back close. Even though she was in the stairwell now, she remained vigilant and kept her back turned towards the stairs. Without realizing it, she backed up too far and fell backwards.

A loud scream escaped from her as she landed hard on the stairs and slid down to the bottom flight.

“FUCK!” she roared, but realized she was still alive and nothing seemed broken. Fear caused her to curl up away from the stairs so she could writhe there on the floor alone. Although perhaps she had not broken anything, she sure as hell must have broken a few blood vessels and hit her head. Writhing still, she placed both hands on the back of her head and pulled herself into a tighter ball. There was a throbbing in the back of her skull, most likely from the fall.

“HARPER! ERIN!”

The door to the stairwell opened up and she heard Tony and Karl yelling in German at her. Before they could start running down the stairs to start beating up Taylor, there was a sudden sound of a fist smashing into a person’s face, then what could have been an elbow to the face? Maybe. And then the sound of a man crying out in agony. Did someone just get kneed in the groin? Hard to tell when Taylor had her back to what was going on.

After the bodies fell, there were footsteps rushing down the stairs towards Taylor. Her heart raced faster than it had in the past hour.

“Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me…” she rasped.

“Taylor, it’s me,” a voice assured. “Harper.”

Rolling over onto her back, she saw the face of Bruce Willis, or as he is in the movie, John McClane. Except…her vision was blurred. But she could faintly make out his face.

“McClane…” she whispered.

“Nope, Harper,” he corrected.

“Harp…” the last two letters of his name silently crossed her lips.

This time, Taylor sat up and looked at the man who was claiming to be Harper. She turned her head but kept her gaze on him. Suspicion crossed her mind: nearly getting her ass kicked by Karl and Tony, she felt dubious of everybody at the moment. The man claiming to be Harper sighed heavily.

“Looks like you hit your head pretty hard,” he commented softly.

“How do I know you’re Harper?” Taylor asked, hesitant.

“Doll, I know you know Bruce Willis wouldn’t call another man ‘doll’,” Harper told her. “But, if you insist. We first met in third grade and you couldn’t remember your student id number so Miss Harris told me to go with you to the lunch line and get the number.”

Only a select few knew that story. Taylor nodded, realizing that he was truly Harper.

“Yeah, now you’ve got it, doll,” Harper nodded in patient agreement. “Is anything broken?”

“My pride,” Taylor winced. “Maybe cracked my skull. I think.” The initial adrenaline rush was fading, and pain throbbed in her side and her leg. Her initial assessment of the damage was wrong. “Side hurts—shit—and probably re-damaged my leg.”

“Why is your leg hurt?” Harper wondered.

“Tell you later, we need to find Erin,” Taylor forced herself into a sitting position and groaned. “Gods I’m old!”

Harper laughed, “I’m not sure Alan would appreciate you calling him old!”

“Quoth the raven, ‘bite me’!” Taylor retorted.

“Promises, promises,” Harper got under Taylor’s arm and grinned in amusement.

Taylor stood up with her partner’s help, “I think Erin is Mrs. McClane. So we need to find Mrs. McClane.”

“What does she look like? I forgot,” Harper asked.

“Typical 80’s perm, white skin but not alabaster like my pasty ass,” Taylor grunted as she put weight on her injured foot. “I think brown hair, might be about what my natural hair color is back in the real world.”

“Dirty blonde,” Harper corrected.

“Dirty blonde, yeah whatever,” Taylor grumbled.

“Well, let’s go find her. I didn’t kill the blond _arschlochs_ ; I just knocked them the hell out, so we need to get going,” Harper grabbed his friend’s hand and drug her back down the stairs.

 


	2. Dying Hard Internally

**Chapter** **Two** : **Dying** **Hard** **Internally**

Taylor limped down the stairs, trying to ignore the pain that shot through her leg with every step they took. Male tolerance of pain versus female tolerance of pain were two very different things. Being a female in a male body made for a very interesting experience with pain.

“I need to stop,” Taylor finally mentioned.

Harper stopped on the break between steps and let go of his partner. Taylor circled and leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

“I don’t think I should be walking without a splint and crutches,” Taylor breathed. “The fall I took—I think it really re-fractured my—er, Alan’s—leg.”

“Poor baby,” Harper teased. “Alright, fine. I think we’re far enough away to be able to hold out right here. Sit down.”

Relieved, Taylor turned and pressed her back against the wall and slumped down to the floor. Silence fell between the two friends as they thought hard about how to proceed. Sweat dripped down her face and she wiped it with her trench coat’s sleeve. Trying to ease her breathing again, she rolled up her pant leg and saw a dark blue bruise beginning to form where the injury took place. Curious, she pressed the bruise and felt the pain shoot up her leg.

“Ah!” she winced.

“Don’t hurt yourself!” Harper exclaimed.

Shakily, Taylor rolled down the pant leg and stared up at the ceiling in annoyance.

“We can’t get Erin if I can’t walk,” she breathed, returning her gaze to her partner. “And I’m afraid of what they could do to her if we don’t get to her. Harper. I need a splint, and maybe crutches if we can find the right pieces.” She combed her fingers through Alan’s neatly combed hair, messing it up a bit. “I already have a couple of options to tie it together.” Reaching down, she yanked the belt from Alan’s trench coat and sighed.

“What do you need? I’ll go get it fast as the Flash!” Harper asked with eagerness.

“Wood. The sturdier, the better,” Taylor grunted. “Two pieces, but more if there is enough to d-i-y a pair of crutches. If you get those, there should be long enough screws or nails to grab too. Bring a screwdriver or hammer depending on what you find. I’ll build it myself; you know how engineers are.”

“Sure thing, kiddo!” Harper agreed. “What about you? Will you be okay by yourself?”

Taylor reached to her ankle and withdrew a glock, “I have a gun…remember? I’m Hans fucking Gruber.”

Harper laughed, “You’re funny!”

“No I just am really insecure—OW! Never mind that!” Taylor winced as she accidentally crossed her legs the wrong way.

“Right, right. I’ll be back as soon as I can!” Harper told her, reaching a hand out to brush Taylor’s hair back and then leave.

Once again, Taylor was alone. Drawing her good leg up close to her chest, she hugged it and rested her cheek on her leg. _Erin, please be okay…_ she thought. _I’ll be there as soon as I can. I know for a fact you would tell me to sit down until we fix my leg. You don’t care if you end up hurt…you just don’t want your friends hurt._ Breathing in deeply, she then turned her thoughts towards Alan Rickman and began musing over how he may react to this situation.

A sound snapped her out of her musings about twenty minutes later. Pricking her ears, she heard footsteps rushing down the stairs. Not able to tell who it was, Taylor picked the glock back up and cocked it.

“Who’s that?” she asked.

“Aye, yo, it’s just me doll!” exclaimed John McClane’s voice as he came into view.

Taylor uncocked the glock, “Don’t scare me like that, Harper.”

Harper hopped down onto the floor, “Sorry. But I have the wood you asked me for, babe.”

“Okay,” she acknowledged.

Harper knelt back down beside his friend and handed over two pieces of wood to make the splint. She put the belt in her mouth to hold onto while she set the wood up to be tied. Once it was ready, she grabbed Harper’s hands and made him hold onto the wood.

“Hold it tight,” she told him as she pulled the trench coat belt out from between her teeth. Then, she lifted her leg and wrapped the belt around as tight as she could twice before double-knotting the belt. The pain made her tense up her leg unconsciously. Wincing, she tugged on it to make sure it was secure. When she was certain it was secure, she replaced her leg back on the ground and breathed in relief.

“Wow, great thinking!” Harper exclaimed.

“Thanks, I take pride in being a Ravenclaw,” Taylor murmured, reaching for the longer slats of wood. “Will these go under my arm properly?”

“I hope so,” Harper hoped. “I tried. I honestly did.”

Taylor mentally calculated the length of the slats, then shook her head.

“No, I might be fine without it…” she decided. “Help me back up. We can’t waste anymore time.”

“Righty-o then!” Harper jumped back up and helped Taylor to her feet. Before they could begin walking down again, they heard footsteps from above them. When they glanced around, they finally found whom those footsteps belonged to: Theo. He had Karl’s machine gun slung over his shoulder, but pointed ahead.

“Shit,” she hissed.

“Oh this is just fucktangular…” Harper murmured.

Theo looked down at them and pointed, “Who the hell are you two?! And where’s Hans?!”

“Don’t shoot,” Taylor commanded with as much calm as she could manage. Alan’s voice soothed her as she spoke. “I promise, I’m not much of a threat.” Anxious, she gestured at the splint she and Harper just made. “Honestly, I’m terrified because I don’t belong here.”

Theo glanced down at her splint. Hesitant, he lowered the machine gun and uncocked it. Taylor could tell he was partially assured.

“I’m a 20 year old woman, named Taylor Michaelis,” Taylor told him. “I’m sorta trapped in Hans’s body. Right there is my best friend who is a 22 year old man named Harper. He’s stuck as John McClane.”

“How do you know Hans?” Theo asked.

Taylor hesitated, “This is actually a movie in my world. Hans Gruber is a brilliant and sexy villain played by the handsome actor Alan Rickman. Which transferred over into this dimension, because originally Hans didn’t have a limp but Alan hurt himself before the shooting of the movie and spent most of the movie sitting down. Hence…why I’m limping. Except, it wasn’t this bad. This happened because I fell because of Tony and Karl!” Embarrassment flooded her cheeks, “Sorry, I didn’t mean…er…anyway, uh…in my world…yeah I know Hans because he’s the main antagonist in this movie. It’s called _Die Hard_.”

Theo stared at her, hesitant to accept anything she was saying.

“So uh how did the Green Bay Packers do this year?” Taylor asked him. “Well, I hope? They do poorly in 2010s.”

“Really, Taylor?” Harper asked.

“What? I’m trying to lighten the mood…” Taylor grumbled.

“The Packers were shit this year,” Theo finally answered. “Fine. How do I know you’re not just bullshitting me? Huh?”

Taylor shrugged at Theo, “The hell do you want me to say? Other than the fact that I’m a shit liar verbally… Honestly I couldn’t come up with this crazy shit on my own.”

“In your dreams—” Harper was quickly cut off.

“That is an entirely different thing!” Taylor exclaimed, face turning red. “I can’t control what I dream about, no matter how many times I beg to have dreams of hugging Alan Rickman.”

Theo laughed, “Alright, I guess you couldn’t possibly be bullshitting me if you’re going to get defensive like that. I know Hans wouldn’t, but I can easily imagine a 20 year old girl doing that for sure.”

“Gee, thanks,” Taylor muttered grudgingly.

“So you’re from another dimension and are stuck here,” Theo disregarded her remark. “How the hell do we fix this, then?”

“I don’t know,” Taylor answered, sighing at him. “I was hoping to go downstairs to find Erin. She’s my best friend, and she’s from my dimension. I think she’s John McClane’s wife.”

“So if we find your friend, then do you think we can figure out how to get Hans back?” Theo asked, dubious.

“Not exactly, but she _is_ part of my circle so if we have her, there may be a greater chance of getting back,” Taylor turned towards the stairs. “I hope.”

“Whoa! You’re not gonna go down there by yourself, are you?” Theo asked, raising his eyebrows at her. “What, are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Taylor turned to look at him, cocking one eyebrow at him, “says the man who finds killing people funny.”

“Well, I-I-I mean…” Theo stammered. “Ouch, that hurts hearing with my boss’s voice.”

“Really? I personally find it funny to hear,” Taylor grinned, then her smile faded. “Whoever said words don’t hurt obviously doesn’t understand magic…or isn’t a writer.”

Tense silence fell over them. Then, Harper crossed over to his friend and got under her arm to help her walk.

“Is she okay?” Theo asked.

“Uh yeah, she’s just been hurt a lot by her parents whenever they pick on her for her obsession with her favorite actor,” Harper nodded. “Nothing to worry about my dude!”

“Uhh…” Theo looked at the pair. “I’m not gonna ask.”

Harper began to once again lead Taylor down the stairs and Theo quickly followed them. Surprised, Taylor turned her head to look at him.

“You’re coming with us?” she asked, wincing.

“Someone ought to watch your back, and it might as well be the tech guy!” Theo huffed. “Because Karl and Tony sure as hell won’t, and I have a tiny bit more sympathy than either of them combined.”

“OOF,” Harper laughed.

Taylor glanced forward, “honestly? That doesn’t take much effort.”

As Harper began to walk off with Taylor, Theo gasped and laughed.

“Damn. I like you already, Taylor,” he laughed. “You’re savage!”

They stopped at the thirtieth floor and took a moment to peer inside to see what was going on. Hans’s men were silently keeping guard.

“Do they know yet?” Taylor asked, looking at Theo.

“No,” Theo shook his head. “Tony and Karl were knocked out before they could say anything, and these guys don’t listen to me because I’m the tech guy.”

“I know that feeling,” Taylor grumbled. “Being a female engineer…”

“Engineer? Nice,” Theo commented. “Okay, so what is our plan?”

Taylor moved away from the window and leaned against the wall to take pressure off her leg. Thinking, she glanced around until the words formed coherently in her mind. What could they do? Looking at Harper, an encouraging nod from her friend suggested that she speak her mind. Hesitant, she nodded.

“I can go in there and order them to bring Holly Gennero to what I think is actually her office,” Taylor started. “Everyone else will respond to her name, so hopefully they’ll suggest she go. I’ll order them to be gentle with her so no one worries.” She turned to Harper, “do you have the gun I dropped when I fell?”

“Yeah, my dude, I do,” Harper nodded.

“Good,” Taylor nodded. “You’ll need it. Hide it on your person somewhere. You will be one of the ‘hostages’ but, I’ll give a signal for you to fight them off. I’ll take Erin elsewhere when that happens. Maybe the thirty third floor. Try not to shoot the hostages and be careful of ricochet.” Taylor turned to Theo, “Theo, are Karl and Tony bound up in case they regain consciousness?”

“No, but they can be,” Theo shook his head.

“Later, when we get back up there,” Taylor nodded. “You come with me. If questions are asked, you’re helping me get the code out of Miss Gennero because they _should_ believe that. Right?”

“Yes,” Theo agreed. “They definitely will.”

Taylor glanced down, “They may question where Karl and Tony went, now that I think about it.”

“Oh shit, yeah,” Harper agreed.

“We can say they stayed behind to…to…” Theo tilted his head in thought. “What would those two idiots do…”

“Scan the halls for more hostages?” Harper asked.

“That is a dark way to put it,” Taylor muttered.

“But it’s not wrong!” Theo chided. “Yes. I think that would work.”

“Alright, is this our plan? Yea or nay?” Taylor asked.

“Yea,” both Theo and Harper agreed.

“Great, let’s—” Taylor’s breath caught in her throat as she realized something. Then, she widened her eyes in horror. “OH HELL! I left my phone on the _Harry Potter_ game! Shit! I’m going to lose house points. All my hard work! For naught! It’ll make me restart the whole potions class! Fuck!”

Harper looked at Taylor, “Dude? Calm your ass down!”

“Ehhh??” Theo stared at Taylor. “The hell are you talking about? Ya know, never mind. Get yourself together, Hans.”

“Godsdammit…” Taylor muttered. “I was so close, too…” she pushed open the door and walked inside. When she got in, she placed a hand on Theo and limped forward. On the other side of Theo, Harper was being dragged behind by his wrist.

“I would fight but man, I’m not feeling it today,” Harper chided in an obnoxiously loud voice. He was starting the roleplaying.

“Good because Hans isn’t interested in chasing your stubborn ass,” Theo agreed, falling into his role.

“Quit. Arguing.” Taylor snapped at them, entering her role as well.

“Hey, you didn’t bring me along because I’m easy to get along with,” Theo retorted.

“Oh! Hans!” greeted one of the guards. “Oh uh, what happened?”

“This bumbling fool back here,” Taylor started, throwing her thumb over her shoulder in annoyance. “Tackled me while going down the stairs. Thank God Theo was there, otherwise I’d have had to shoot another person. Thankfully, this idiot was willing to help. Well uh, with a gun to his head of course made him more willing.”

There was a collective gasp from the captives.

“Yes, yes,” Taylor turned her gaze to the hostages. “I regret to inform you that Mister Takagi will not be joining us for the rest of his life.”

A couple of them flinched at her words.

“Sit down,” Theo commanded Harper, roughly shoving him to the ground.

“Now,” she circled towards the crowd and began pacing in front of them. “One of you is likely to have the code I need. Which one of you is it?” She saw Mrs. Gennero and stopped. Turning to face her, she smiled. “You, perhaps?” Taylor added by mouthing, _Erin, it’s me. Just say yes_. Catching what Taylor had mouthed, hesitantly she nodded.

“Yes, I do,” she agreed.

“Don’t take her!” cried the man beside her, grabbing Erin by her arm. “She has a family, Hans.”

Annoyed, Erin yanked her arm away from who Taylor realized was Ellis. Hesitating, she cracked a mocking smile, “Yes. So did Takagi. You think I care about that?” Ellis shook his head. “Now then, I must take her with me. We have much to discuss Ms…” Taylor mouthed to Erin, Gennero.

“G-Gennero?” Erin stammered.

“Ms. Gennero,” Taylor greeted. “How’re you doing?”

Erin gave an awkward nod, “Could uh be better.”

“Please don’t take Holly!” Ellis begged.

To continue the role, Taylor reached for her gun, pulled it out, and cocked it while pointing it at Ellis.

“Don’t tell me what to do, you idiot,” she snapped.

Seeing him flinch away made her feel guilty. She did not want to do it, but she had to. For the sake of the role. _I swear my empath skills are being tested in an acting role_ , she thought bitterly. Sighing, she gingerly took Erin’s hand and led her away.

“It’s okay,” she promised in a hushed voice.

“It better…” Erin grumbled.

“How about…your office, Ms. Gennero?” Taylor asked in a louder voice for the men to hear.

“Er, certainly, Mr. Gruber?” Erin trailed off awkwardly.

“Thank you,” Taylor turned to Theo. “Mister Theo, shall we?”

“Hey, where did Tony and Karl go?” one of the men asked.

“They’re searching for more dummies like that one over there,” Theo gestured. “We don’t want any more surprises.”

“Ain’t that the truth…” they agreed.

Taylor began leading Theo and Erin to what she was certain was Holly Gennero’s office. When they got there, she opened the door and led them in.


	3. Who Dunnit Better Die Hard

  
**Chapter** **Three** : **Who** **Dunnit** **Better** **Die** **Hard**!

“What the _heck_ is going on?” Erin demanded once they were in. “Why am I this random white woman with 80’s hair and-and—”

“Calm down,” Taylor grabbed her friend by her shoulders. “Panicking is gonna not get any of us anywhere. I don’t know exactly what is going on either, so don’t freak out. You’re just gonna make me freak out and I can’t. Not yet, anyway.”

Erin stayed silent, trying to hold herself together.

“The last thing you remember,” Taylor started. “You were sitting on the couch checking your phone, right? The next thing you know, something like grabs you and pulls you right into the TV. Am I wrong?”

“No…” Erin hesitated.

“Do you remember what grabbed you? Because I don’t because I was looking at the DVD case,” Taylor asked. “Knowing that may be able to help us.”

“Two hands,” Erin recalled slowly.

“That’s a step farther than a moment ago,” Taylor nodded. “Okay, so where does that leave us…?”

“No where, really,” Theo muttered. “Not a lot to go on.”

“No, but it means someone did this,” Taylor told him. “And not just anyone. A deity, most likely. Unless it was aliens, which I highly doubt but—”

“Really, Taylor? This is serious!” Erin exclaimed.

“Let me finish, Erin,” Taylor laughed. “I’m not crossing them off the list, but I’m not going to take them into consideration unless I have to. What do I look like? Giorgio Tsukalos?”

Exasperated, Erin sighed, “Okay. So a deity could’ve done this. Who, and why?”

“Loki is the only one I can think about,” Taylor admitted. “Inari likes mischief, but not like this. Unless a tengu did, which I doubt, chances are Loki has something to do with this. Meaning, he was bored and left unattended. But why us three?”

“You didn’t do this, did you?” Erin asked.

“What? Why me! Just because I’m a witch means nothing,” Taylor’s face turned beet red with embarrassment. “I didn’t want to be Hans _this_ bad.”

“Witch?” Theo asked. “Aren’t you an engineer?”

“Long story short, I like a bit of magic in my life and like helping my friends,” Taylor scowled. “I hope my plants are okay. Never mind that!” Partially sitting on Holly Gennero’s desk, Taylor crossed her arms and looked around helplessly. “Gods I don’t know what to do. There has to be _something_ we can do to get us back.”

Theo sighed, “I don’t know.”

Taylor glanced at the desk and something immediately caught her eye. Curious, she turned around and knelt down on both knees to examine it. It was a crystal sphere, sitting pretty on a cloth. Taylor picked it up and read its words.

“What is the easiest way to throw a ball, have it stop, and completely reverse direction after traveling a short distance?” Taylor asked. “Riddles?”

“It might have to do with this. Maybe it’ll tell us where to go or what to do!” Erin exclaimed.

“You know the answer?” Theo asked.

“Yeah…throw the damn ball up in the air,” Taylor answered.

The crystal ball lit up and the riddle vanished. Moments later, the ball showed a message. All three of them leaned over to read it.

“The next riddle is on floor thirty three. It hides where most would overlook, and if not found in ten minutes there will be major consequences.”

Taylor, Theo, and Erin exchanged uneasy glances.

“Gun, now,” Theo told her. “Have to let your friend know.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” Taylor reached for the gun and pointed it at the wall. She shot it and shouted down the hall, “floor thirty three!”

A sudden cacophony of gun shots rang throughout their ears and quickly, Theo got under her arm and helped her lead Erin to another staircase. They heard gunshots being aimed in their direction, but Theo turned the corner just before they could be hit. That was when they made it safely to the stairs and headed inside. Before the door closed, they heard Harper shout, “Everybody, run!”

More shots rang out as the door closed and Theo began leading Taylor up the stairs. Reaching for the next step, Taylor banged her injured foot on the step and she felt an excruciatingly sharp pain jolt up her leg. Inhaling sharply against the pain, she let out a forced whimper.

“Ow,” she held her voice taut with pain.

Theo kept hauling her up, but Erin slowed to ask if she was okay.

“Not particularly,” she exhaled sharply. “I hit my injured ankle…”

“Here, let me help,” Erin ducked under her arm and placed a hand on her back. “Don’t want to see Alan so upset.”

“Yeah,” Taylor sighed. “I was on the verge of crying. I am SO glad I have never broken a bone as myself. I feel bad I did it to Alan…er…Hans…but that’s okay, I’m paying for it now.”

Theo and Erin gingerly helped her to the next platform.

“Another two and half a flights of steps,” Theo assured her.

“Great,” she winced. “Let’s keep going. Quickly. We’ve already wasted at least two minutes.”

“I wonder if we were meant to fail this?” Erin pondered.

“Not surprising, to be fair,” Taylor admitted.

They continued on. By the time they reached the thirty-third floor, five minutes had passed. Breathing heavily, they went inside and began looking.

“I’ll crawl on the floor,” Taylor carefully lowered herself to the floor. “It’ll save me some pain.”

Erin reached down and poked her, “don’t hurt yourself, Alan.”

Taylor blushed, “Not funny.” Reaching forward with one hand, she began examining her surroundings. What the hell did that stupid ball mean? There are so many places that can be overlooked. And yet, here she was on her hands and knees as Hans Gruber, trying to look around on the floor. Annoyed, she rubbed her jaw and chin.

“I wonder if we’ll be sent into another movie. If so, I wonder if it’ll be Sense and Sensibility. I love Colonel Brandon.” She crawled forward and glanced around again. “This isn’t what I imagined would happen if I was Hans Gruber.”

“Nothing this way!” Theo called out.

“Oof,” Taylor pulled back her sleeve. Three minutes left. “Shit.”

They heard the stairwell door creak open and Taylor jumped and turned around, pointing her gun at who she realized was Harper.

“Whoa! It’s just me!” Harper exclaimed.

“Sweet Jesus, are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?!” Taylor exclaimed.

“Sorry!” Harper apologized.

“Look around for another crystal ball. We only have two minutes left. Shit,” Taylor flipped back over and began crawling again. “Somewhere overlooked easily. Blessed goddess…”

“Somewhere easily overlooked?” Harper asked.

“Yep, that was what we were told…” Taylor responded.

Harper began walking toward something. He bent down and grabbed it. Suddenly, he turned around and showed Taylor the ball.

“I think this is it!” he exclaimed.

“Shit! It is!” Taylor gasped. “Twenty seconds left. What does the riddle say?”

“If you are in a d-dark room with a candle, a wood shove—AH! STOVE!—, and a gas lamp. You only have one match stick, so what do you right—er, light—first?!” Harper breathed in relief and handed it to Taylor.

“Less than ten seconds left,” Taylor groaned. “First thought is a candle but that doesn’t make sense! N-No! Er! The. The. The. The…It’s the goddamn—” She gasped as she looked at her watch as the last second ticked away, “Match! You light the match first!”

Silence fell between the four of them and tension hung in the air as they waited. The crystal ball glowed crimson and shattered between her fingers, slicing into her hands. She gasped in pain and Erin’s eyes grew wide.

“SHOOT!” Erin exclaimed.

After shaking off the initial shock, Taylor heaved a heavy sigh, “It was too late…” Blood began oozing from wounds on her hands and she helplessly sat still, letting Hans’s blood drip onto the floor. Soon, she began shivering internally, struggling to fight the urge to begin crying. “It was meant to fail…”

Harper ripped his shirt off and ripped pieces off to tie around her hands to stop the blood. A makeshift tourniquet.

“I’m sorry,” Harper apologized.

“No, no…it’s okay…” Taylor shook her head. Her hands shook as she held them in front of her to allow Harper to put a tourniquet on them. “Not…your fault…”

Theo sighed and stood up, “so what is this supposed consequence?”

“Whatever it is, I doubt it’s anything good,” Erin sighed. “Let’s get Taylor over there and sitting in a comfortable position.”

Taylor could not muster up any strength to stand up, so Theo and Harper got under her arms and forced her to her feet. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to keep from crying. That was not going to help Erin or Harper. In fact, she felt that if she cried, they would be just as helpless and emotional. Attempting to steady her breathing, she allowed them to bring her back by the Indonesia project model and sit her down.

“Theo, is there a first aid kit somewhere?” Erin asked.

“Well I’d hope so, in a building like this were glass cuts seem more likely than only paper cuts,” Theo retorted.

“Dude, don’t be sarcastic right now,” Harper snapped at Theo.

“You can’t make me,” Theo snapped back.

“Guys, don’t…” Erin watched helplessly.

“It’s you three’s fault my boss’s spirit is missing in God knows only where!” Theo growled. “Having a little bit of respect wouldn’t kill ya. What are they teaching kids in the future? Fucking hell.”

“I’m not the disrespectful one!” Harper clapped back. “Making sarcastic remarks like that. Just say yes or no or probably, it’s as simple as that!”

“Guys…” Erin trailed off.

“Maybe if you had gotten here earlier we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Theo snapped at Harper.

“Maybe if you hadn’t let those two idiots chase Taylor she would’t have re-fractured Hans’s leg!” Harper yelled.

“That’s ENOUGH!” Taylor shouted over them, tilting her head down but looking up with a glare. Both men stopped their shouting match and fell silent. Taylor’s whole body shook with anger and frustration, but mostly fear. “Theo, go get the first aid kit. Harper, check the halls and make sure Tony and Karl are still out. Erin…stay here…with me…” Taylor rubbed a sleeve over her face, trying to keep calm.

Without another word to each other, Theo and Harper split up to do what they were asked. Erin turned to Taylor and furrowed her eyebrows at her. Then, she sat down and looked down.

“Are you okay, Taylor?”

“No—er, maybe…I don’t know…” Taylor sniffed. “This is a lot more stressful than I anticipated, even though I had nothing to do with this.”

“I’m sorry,” Erin apologized.

“It’s not your fault,” Taylor reassured her friend.

Before the conversation could continue, they heard Theo scream with horror.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” he exclaimed.

Erin stood up and looked. That was when they saw Theo running back as fast as he could.

“Dude! Takagi’s a fricken _zombie_!” Theo exclaimed.  
  
“What in the hell?” Taylor remarked quietly, forcing herself to her feet.

Theo circled around them and watched as the zombie of Joseph Takagi emerged from the conference room. Taylor pressed her back against the table as hard as she could.

“Holy shit,” she whispered.

“Break the window, we’re going to throw him out the window,” Theo ordered.

“Shoot him out the window,” Erin suggested.

Taylor turned and pointed her gun at the window, shattering it with a bullet. Turning back she saw Takagi was approaching her and she stepped away to avoid him. Nervousness struck her when she saw him follow her.

“Shoot, I think he wants _you_ , Taylor!” Erin exclaimed.

“Oh hell,” Theo muttered. “Shoot him, Taylor!”

Raising up her gun, she aimed it at Takagi with a racing heart. Pulling the trigger, she heard nothing but a click. She pulled the trigger a couple more times but only heard clicks. Frustrated and scared, she tossed the gun aside.

“For Inari’s sake,” she grumbled.

“Shit,” Theo jumped on Takagi to try and stop him. Instead, Takagi fought him off and threw him backwards.

“No, Mister Takagi,” Taylor stepped back on her bad leg by accident. With the pain she felt, her knees buckled and she fell backwards onto her ass. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as she scrambled backwards to avoid Zombie Takagi.

“Taylor!” Erin cried. “Harper! Harper! You need to come back here NOW!”

Taylor caught the staircase door open from the corner of her eye and saw Harper quickly turn and slam the door behind him.

“We’re surrounded!” Harper cried. “Wait, no! Taylor! Shit, hellfire, damnation!”

Taylor once again moved backwards.

“Harper, help me!” she begged, feeling her back touch the broken glass from the window. “Shit!”

“ _You_ _let_ _me_ _die_!” Takagi growled.

“No, no, I didn’t,” Taylor denied. “You told me to run!”

“Hey! Stay away from Taylor!” Erin ran up to Zombie Takagi and shoved him away. He hardly budged and Taylor moved back until she felt herself drop down a bit as she went over the side. She screeched and tried to scramble back into the building. Instead, she fell out completely except for her hands, which painfully grasped the ledge.

“No, no, no!” she cried. “Erin! Harper!”

She glanced down but immediately returned her gaze upward when she felt Erin trying to grab her hand.

“Erin!” she cried. “Please, I don’t want to die…”

“I won’t let you,” Erin promised. “Harper!” When Erin glanced behind her she gasped in horror. “No! Harper! Theo!”

“What’s going on?” Taylor asked, frantically kicking her legs and trying to climb back up. “I can’t see!” Still frantic, she kicked her injured leg into the wall and a blinding pain shot up through her system and, unintentionally, she let go. She screamed as Hans’s weight pulled Erin over the edge with her. “No!”

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Sensible Company

**Chapter** **Four** : **Sensible** **Company**

Taylor woke with a start. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest, what she at first chalked up to remaining adrenaline from the bad dream. However, when she tuned her ears in she heard no soft buzzing of electricity or the quiet wind from the air conditioner. Opening her eyes, she sat up and looked around: a room, likely from the late 1790s. Blinking, she realized she must be in another movie.  
  
There was a loud knock coming from downstairs, then a voice calling out.  
  
“Colonel Brandon! You must come down! Must I come get you myself?”  
  
Her breath caught in her throat. Colonel Brandon? Did he mean…the Colonel Brandon? Throwing her legs over the side of her bed, she stood up and saw a mirror on a dresser. Her face turned red with embarrassment: _Sense and Sensibility_. She was Colonel Christopher Brandon. Rubbing her smooth face, she then glanced down. She was wearing 1790s-style undergarments, at least from what she could tell. Looking around, she hunted down proper clothing to greet the door.  
  
Quickly, she spotted his dark trousers and tunics and practically threw them on. Once she was semi-decent for having just woken up, she walked out and down the stairs. There was another series of knocking at the door. Annoyed, she stepped down onto the floor and rubbed her face.  
  
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” she exclaimed, yawning.  
  
When she finally got to the door, she opened it and was greeted by two people, whom she realized were Sir John Middleton and Mrs. Jennings. Anxious, she inclined her head at them.  
  
“Morning,” she hesitated. “What brings you two over here so early?”

“Brandon, you lazy dog!” Sir John chided with a grin. “You look so frazzled! Bad dream, eh?”

Taylor glanced to the side, “A bit. It was nothing, I assure you.”

“Right, well then! Brandon I implore you, come with us to meet my cousins, the Dashwoods!”

“Oh they are right delightful!” Mrs. Jennings grinned. “Think you’d like Marianne. Gorgeous and smart young lass,” she leaned in with a sly grin, “Your type, Colonel.”

Taylor hesitated, “Quite so. Er, perhaps in a little bit. I’ll catch up. I have yet to wake up fully.”

“We’ll save you a glass of tea then, eh?” Sir John asked.

“Er, I’d appreciate that,” Taylor nodded. _No_ _suspicions_ _about_ _me_ ; _then_ _again_ _they_ _probably_ _don’t_ _care_ _half_ _as_ _much_ _as_ _Karl_ _and_ _Tony_ _did_ …

“Alright Colonel, we better see you there!” Sir John teased.

“Of course,” Taylor bowed her head again and awkwardly closed the door. When she was sure they were gone, she breathed in relief and glanced around. If Erin and Harper were there, it would take awhile for any of them to find each other. Chances were Harper was Mr. Palmer, and Erin perhaps a Dashwood. Perhaps. Breathing shakily, she went back up the stairs to tidy herself up.  
  
When she got upstairs, instead of tidying up she sat down on the colonel’s bed and put her hands to her face, willing herself to calm down.

“Gods, when I said I loved Alan Rickman, I never said I wanted to completely take over his roles _as him_ ,” she groaned, moving one hand away to scratch the back of her head. “Man I feel sick. What the hell did that thing do?” She recalled Zombie Takagi’s face; his pain and his fury—a hunger for blood lurking in his soulless eyes. Her stomach churned at the image and she made herself shake her head clear of the image. _I’m sorry, Takagi-san. I really am…_

After shuddering at the thought again, she made herself rise to her feet and combed the colonel’s hair.

“Alan, why do you have much better hair than me?” she mused as she combed. After she set the comb down, she unbuttoned her top and re-buttoned it properly. Her hands shook and would not cooperate. She had to force them to push the button through its hole. “Blessed goddess…” Frustration quickly built in her, “Gods-dammit!” After making herself work on it more, eventually she got her top buttoned.

Frustrated, she glanced back at her reflection. She was in her favorite actor’s body, in another dimension playing a character he played in hers. With a heavy sigh, she glanced down feeling ashamed that she was not enjoying this half as much as Alan probably would expect her to. It’ll get better, she swore she heard him tell her. _Relax, you know how to act like Colonel Brandon_. Glancing around, she did not see anyone in her room.

“I must be going mad…” she murmured. “Right, pretend to be Colonel Christopher Brandon.”

To put on her façade, she put her arms behind her back and straightened her posture. After a few moments, she was able to get herself to appear more comfortable as herself. _You can do it, you grumpy old badger_ , she told herself. Feeling more confidence, she glanced down and headed down the stairs to put on his shoes.

When she felt ready she opened the front door and headed out, circling the colonel’s house until she found his horse. At first, she was timid to approach the horse. She had not been close to one since the one she met at Cat Rescue’s place all the way in rural Chesapeake. Even back then, she was timid to approach.

The horse sniffed at her and grunted.

“What?” Taylor asked.

The horse sniffed again. Somehow, it could tell she was not Colonel Brandon. But at the same time, it was beginning to trust her and stretched its neck to sniff her hand.

“Did you want something?” she wondered. “What do horses like? Sugar? I should have sugar somewhere, right? Colonel Brandon would have to if he wanted to treat his horse. He is wealthy enough for the sugar…”

The horse snorted at her.

“Yeah I know, you don’t understand a damn word I’m saying,” Taylor grumbled. “I’m used to it, I have two cats.”  
  
The horse snorted again as Taylor turned to gaze around.

“In the bloody kitchen,” Taylor grumbled. “Mouse-brain! I’ll be back in a moment. Or more, I dunno.”

Quickly, she turned around and dashed back into the house. On the plus side, she no longer was walking with a limp. Yet, something was slowing her down. A knot at the bottom of her stomach. It was growing with every anxious thought. Yet, she had every reason to be anxious.

“Stop, you’re going to make yourself sick,” she ordered herself, reentering the manor. “Right, sugar. Kitchen, if it’s the same…”

Ignoring the growing nausea, she turned to what she thought was the kitchen and explored. A sudden voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Colonel, I’m surprised to see you up and still here.”

Taylor turned and saw a shy young woman. A maid. Her breath caught in her throat—they never heard or saw a maid in the movie. She would not know her name! Panic began to swell in her stomach, making her feel even worse.

“Colonel? Are you okay?” the maid kindly asked. “Is it one of your bad days? I can give you a massage if you’d permit me. I know you told me that your shoulder aches often. And, God permitting, it’ll calm your nerves.”

“Er,” Taylor was going through what she knew of the colonel. Rheumatism in his shoulder. Probably some trauma being separated from his earlier love. Scowling, she nodded. He must have confided in his maid so she understood what was wrong with him. “I’d…er…appreciate it…Miss…”

The maid gave a sad smile, “You must be doing terribly today aren’t you, Colonel? Elizabeth Wright, you know. You did _just_ hire me, I s'pose it's only fair that you stumble over my name a bit.”

“Elizabeth,” Taylor smiled weakly. “Sorry, my mind is still uh recovering from my nightmare. You're right though...I haven't the chance to get your name in my memory.”

Elizabeth gestured towards a chair, “I’ll give you a quick massage. I’ll be thorough though. Do you want poppy seeds too?”

 _She’s so nice_ , Taylor thought after nodding and sitting down in the chair and hunching over and placing her hands on her thighs. Never have gotten offered a massage before! Poor Colonel, though…

“Thank you very much, Elizabeth,” Taylor thanked. “I’ve been feeling ill the past hour. Certainly, it should subside soon.”

“Would you like me to prepare you something?” Elizabeth asked.

“I…was going to join the Dashwoods for lunch at John’s estate,” Taylor admitted as Elizabeth put her hands on her shoulders. "Granted, only for tea. I don't feel quite right enough to stomach food."  
  
“It’s good to get out of the house,” Elizabeth agreed, digging the palm of her hand into her sore shoulder. At first, Taylor tensed but quickly relaxed. “I’ll do something better this evening, if that’s okay. Meanwhile, would you like to take Earl out to Sir John’s house? If so, I’ll get a couple of sugar cubes for you, Colonel.”  
  
“Thank you,” Taylor thanked, hiding her embarrassment at being called ‘Colonel’. “Yes, I’d like to take Earl out.”

“So, may I ask what the dream was about?” Elizabeth asked.

The dream came back to Taylor and hit her like a Mac truck, except it was not a dream. Zombie Takagi still haunted her. Unintentionally, she shuddered.

“I’d…I’d rather not,” she admitted. _But I’ll be talking to my therapist all about this shit if I remain traumatized. On second thought, I’d be put in a mental hospital…_

“Oh? That bad? I’ll make you a special tea tonight then! Would you permit me to buy a couple of things to make it?”

“Certainly,” Taylor agreed.

“Great,” Elizabeth smiled, finally stopping. “For your pain, poppy?”

“No,” Taylor shook her head. “Poppy will cause drowsiness. Perhaps dandelion, or daisy. Willow bark if there is any.”  
Elizabeth stared at Taylor in disbelief.

“You know so much about herbs!” she remarked, circling around. “How do you know so much, Colonel?”

Taylor’s face drained of color. Her knowledge came from reading _Warriors_. The main characters were often medicine cats, and she was quite keen to learn the herbs.

“I-I…uh…had to learn some during my time in the West Indies,” she saw suspicion cross Elizabeth’s face, suddenly making her uncomfortable.

“Uh, sure,” Elizabeth finally hesitated. “You’ll have to teach me more later, then. I’ll see what we have and bring sugar. Shall I bring honey to make the herbs go down easier?”

Anxious, Taylor nodded and Elizabeth left. When she was out of earshot, Taylor slapped her hand against her face and groaned.

“Really, Taylor? Sweet Metatron, you nearly blew your cover,” she snapped at herself, quietly. “Why the hell would Colonel Brandon care about herbs like a medicine cat? Godsdammit. You’re a colonel, not a medicine cat. Blessed Bastet…”

“When you get back, perhaps a hot bath on top of the massage?” came Elizabeth’s voice a couple minutes later as she stepped back into view with the remedy coated in honey in one hand, and sugar in another.

Taylor blinked in disbelief. Hot bath?

“Uh, I’ll get back to you on that,” Taylor hesitated.

“Acceptable,” Elizabeth smiled. “Here’s a couple of dandelion leaves coated in honey.”

“Right. Thank you, Miss Wright,” Taylor thanked, taking the leaves from her and hesitating to eat them. When she finished, she rose to her feet. “Thank you, I…I feel better already.”

“It’s thanks to your knowledge of herbs,” Elizabeth assured her, handing the sugar over. “Go have a good time, Colonel. It’ll do you well, you know.”

Taylor nodded, “Perhaps so.” 

X X X

After several failed attempts at climbing onto the lovely horse, Earl, she finally was able to set out for the estate of Sir John. Taylor glanced around and tried to guess where Barton Cottage was. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture it in the movies. _You should have watched them leave, you stupid mouse-brain._  
  
“Earl, which way to Barton Cottage, girl?” she wondered.

The horse snorted and began walking in another direction.

“This way? Well, I certainly hope you know what you’re doing because I don’t,” Taylor grumbled.

The horse snorted at her.

“Thanks for your opinion,” Taylor murmured, flicking the reins.

Without hesitation, the horse took on a faster stride as if she were expecting it. A good twenty-five minutes later, watching the scenery go by and forcing her anxieties away, Taylor and Earl arrived at Barton Cottage. Shock crossed her face as she saw it come into view.

“Holy shit, how did you know?” she wondered. “Wow…” _I’m impressed by a fricken horse, she mused to herself._

The horse strode up to the cottage and Taylor pulled the reins. _I’m simply mimicking what I have watched_. _Caliko would have a laugh_. Her heart sunk; she missed her online friends as much as her currently missing ones. Caliko was a sweet artist from an art website she considered her sister. Kat was another person she had become close with online, but they bonded over the movie _Die Hard_ and their witchcraft.

Taylor sighed as she hopped off the horse awkwardly and tied the reins.

“Thank you, Earl,” she whispered in Alan’s rich and smooth voice. “You’re proper awesome.” Patting her head, Taylor pricked her ear for sounds. Someone was playing a piano. If she recalled the scene properly, Marianne Dashwood was playing Sir John’s pianoforte for them. She was supposed to quietly walk inside. And that she did.

When she entered the manor, she hid in the shadows and listened. The piano, she had to admit, was a beautiful sound. Personally, not as beautiful as a flute or a violin. Thinking back, she remembered how to hold one and play. The only way she could play was at a fifth grade level. Crossing her arms, she faintly could hear herself playing “Ode to Joy” all those years ago.

A sudden feeling snapped her out of her introspection. When she glanced up, she saw Elinor Dashwood looking at her. Shocked, she dropped her arms back to her sides. The look on Elinor’s face seemed different somehow. Not…not very much like Elinor in the movie. Taylor swallowed hard. Could Erin be Elinor trapped? Or, Harper? No way! She blinked. Harper would totally be Mr. Palmer! Erin would be a better Margaret…If neither of them were Elinor, then why was she looking at Taylor with familiarity?

Before she could say something Elinor turned back to her sister, Marianne, who wrapped up the tune. Glancing down, she scolded herself. Obviously she was seeing things. No way she could know her.

When she glanced up, everyone was clapping and Taylor decided to step into the light. Suddenly, Sir John glanced behind and sprang to his feet when he saw her.  
  
“Brandon! Where have you been? Come and meet our beautiful new neighbors!” he gestured towards the women.

“What a pity you are late, Colonel! You have missed the most delightful singing!” Mrs. Jennings chided.

Taylor bowed and hesitated a smile.

“A great pity, indeed,” she parroted the line.

Elinor turned back to Taylor and watched her without a word. Something was off about her. Taylor blinked at her in acknowledgement. _I see you, Elinor, and I am contemplating if you are Erin or not._

“Mrs. Dashwood, may I present my dear friend Colonel—oh Colonel, whatever be the matter?” Sir John looked at Taylor, surprised.

“I’m…fine,” she hesitated. “Perhaps a bit shaken up yet.”

“Oh forgive our friend,” Mrs. Jennings smiled. “Poor boy had just woken up when we arrived. He woke from a nightmare, and he was a terrible mess! Never seen Colonel Brandon so disheveled before!”

Taylor saw Elinor perk up. It was as if she knew something was different. Erin had not seen the movie before. The only other person she knew who had seen the movie had to be.

“Caliko?” she formed the name on her lips but no sound escaped.

Elinor nodded.

“My, Colonel, you are weary today!” Sir John exclaimed. “You did not have to come if you were ill.”

“It’s quite alright,” Taylor never tore her eyes away from Caliko. “I uh…I’ll be better soon. Some uh, tea, perhaps?”

Caliko mouthed, “Taylor?”

Taylor blinked in answer.

“Certainly, Colonel Brandon! Tea! Someone get the poor colonel some tea!”

“I think we must be leaving,” Mrs. Dashwood nodded.

“No, no!” Mrs. Jennings shook her head. “Please stay!”

 _Please stay,_ Taylor begged.

“I’m afraid we shouldn’t,” Mrs. Dashwood insisted.

_No!_

“Uhm…” Taylor looked at Caliko. “Cal-Er, Miss Dashwood, may I have the pleasure of talking…in private?”

A servant returned with tea for Taylor and she accepted it with a grateful smile. Sir John raised his eyebrows in surprise and Taylor sipped the tea with awkwardness.

“I just…I’ve seen her before and we chatted a bit,” Taylor lied. “I’d like to catch up with Miss Dashwood again. We never finished that story about the one man and his brother.” She looked at her, urging her to go along with the lie.

“You’re quite right, Colonel,” Caliko agreed, turning to Mrs. Dashwood. “I won’t be long.”

“I suppose so,” Mrs. Dashwood hesitated.

Caliko rose to her feet and circled towards Taylor. She inclined her head at Sir John.

“Oh Brandon you dog!” Sir John laughed as Taylor awkwardly led Caliko out to a private corner.

“Never got to finish the story,” Taylor told John. “Can’t leave her on a cliffhanger for much longer, now can I?”

“Oh go on you dog!” Sir John laughed.

Taylor drug Caliko away and when they were somewhere quiet, they breathed in relief.

“Taylor?” Caliko asked finally.

“Caliko?” Taylor asked.

“You’re Colonel Brandon?” Caliko wondered.

“I was Hans Gruber at least three hours ago,” Taylor retorted. “Being thrown off Nakatomi Tower by a fricken zombie.”

“Oh lovely,” Caliko snorted. “Yeah, I woke up this morning as Elinor. I’m not sure what happened, exactly.”

“Well I can tell you that I was about to watch a movie with Erin and Harper when we were sucked into the damn TV,” Taylor told her.

“I was sleeping, that’s all I know,” Caliko admitted.

Taylor and Caliko both hung their heads.

“So what do we do?” Caliko asked.

“We need to find Erin and Harper,” Taylor answered. “Then, I think we’ll find a clue to get us out. I hope.” Taylor shuddered at the thought of zombie Takagi. “I failed to answer a riddle in time and the ball shattered in my hands, digging glass into my skin. Then, Takagi basically rose from the dead and scared Theo shitless and Takagi came after me and Erin… and I shoot the window to throw him out but instead, he threw Erin and I out…and that is about when I woke up as Colonel Brandon.”

“Wow…” Caliko nodded slowly and glanced behind Taylor and widened her eyes. “Yeah, uh. That’s sad that Coushander’s brother died like that. Did he ever get revenge?”

“Yes,” Taylor glanced over her shoulder and saw Caliko had seen Sir John. “He did. Many years later, though, he passed of cancer, the poor lad. Never quite got over it, even with justice served.”

“What a pity,” Caliko agreed loudly.

“A great pity indeed,” Taylor agreed, turning her attention back to her friend. In a whisper, she said, “Cal, I’ll try to come over often. But be aware this may be awhile. I’ll tell you more of my _Die Hard_ adventures when we can get complete privacy. Meanwhile, do me a favor and make sure Margaret and Marianne act normally or if someone is acting off. That may be an indication that they are one of my friends and we need to know. Something tells me that Harper is Mr. Palmer though…”

“Right,” Caliko agreed. “See you later, Colonel.”

Taylor nodded as she brought her back, “I shall find more stories to tell, Miss Dashwood. You like Shakespeare? I can always read you some Shakespeare as well.”

“Of course, Colonel,” Caliko agreed. Whispering, she added, “don’t you dare get sick, Taylor. Cou and I will shove orange juice down your throat!”

“Damn,” Taylor sighed and gestured towards the rest of the Dashwoods. “Alright…”

Several moments of awkward silence passed as the Dashwoods left. When they left, Taylor looked at Sir John and he laughed.  
“Met her before, eh? Are you already eyeing the lass? I think Marianne would be better for you, though,” he chided.

Taylor forced half of a smile after taking another sip of tea, “no, she’s better off without a grumpy old badger such as myself. Honestly, John…I’m fine where I am…” She tried to take into account the Colonel’s past with Eliza.

“A grumpy old badger?” John laughed. “An interesting expression! Tell me, Colonel, where did you learn that one?”

Taylor blushed, “I made it up, actually.”

“Well, I like it! Grumpy old badger…thought you’re not quite that grumpy!”

Taylor glanced to the side, “Perhaps not…”  
  


  
—— 

When Taylor returned to the estate in Delaford, after hours of awkwardly listening to Sir John endlessly teasing her and lecturing her about women, she finally was able to relax more. Though, at several points in the conversation she desperately wanted to say, "I AM A WOMAN I KNOW WHAT WOMEN ARE LIKE!" Elizabeth greeted her kindly as she entered the manor.

“Good evening, Colonel,” Elizabeth greeted. “Bath and massage? And, I have the servants working on an excellent dish of curry!”

Taylor immediately perked up. _Curry? Oh I love curry_! she wished she could exclaim. Instead, she forced her mouth shut. _No, don’t exclaim that_. Instead, she smiled and nodded.

"Sounds excellent,” she agreed. “Thank you.”

“Alright, well come on, Colonel!”

Taylor hesitated but followed along with curiosity.

 

  
By the time Taylor was ready for bed, most of her muscles were relaxed and her anxiety half-way eased. The scene of being thrown off of Nakatomi Tower with Erin by zombie Takagi still haunted her, however. Admittedly, she likely would be haunted by that for the rest of her life like she would from being abused and bullied when she was working at her first job two years ago.

A shudder crept down Taylor’s spine as she remembered Erin’s terror before she was pulled off by Taylor’s weight. What if she was not the only one to have had something traumatic occur? What happened to Harper? Taylor sat down on the Colonel’s bed and rubbed her face with anxiety. Shit, she had forgotten all about Harper!

“I hope he’s okay,” she whispered with a tense voice. “I hope I find him and Erin soon…”


	5. Be Sensible and Keep Calm!

**Chapter** **Five** : **Be** **Sensible** **and** **Keep** **Calm**!

“Is the colonel well?”  
  
“I don’t know, he hasn’t come out from his room yet. He looked ill when I checked on him in the middle of the night and it felt as though a fever was starting.”  
“May I see him anyway?”  
  
“I don’t know if it’s contagious. I dunno…I couldn’t bear it if you were to get sick.”  
  
“Oh don’t be silly, I will be perfectly fine. Not like I wish to sleep with him.”  
  
Female voices woke Taylor up from her deep and dreamless sleep. Though she felt somewhat fine the previous evening, now Taylor could hardly move without her entire body aching. And what exactly got my stubborn ass sick? she wondered. Was it from Takagi? No way, that doesn’t make sense at all. How? He didn’t bite me, and how could it travel between the dimensions. Or, just blame Loki as her sister, Kat, would say.  
  
“Loki…” Taylor’s voice was quiet.  
  
Before she could continue the thought, she heard someone touch the doorknob and push it open.  
  
“Colonel, Miss Dashwood is here to see you,” came Elizabeth’s voice.  
  
Taylor looked up and opened her mouth to protest but Elizabeth walked in with a basin and a wash cloth. Behind her was a nervous Caliko. Curious, Elizabeth placed a gentle hand on Taylor’s forehead and felt for her temperature.  
  
“Hm, my prediction was right, you do have a fever,” Elizabeth sighed. “Maybe I should’ve made you stay here yesterday. Oh, don’t be upset with me, Colonel.” She turned to Caliko. “Poor Colonel!”  
  
“It’s okay,” Taylor started. “I-I would’ve been stubborn enough to decline…”  
  
“Oh Colonel, you’re awfully pale,” Caliko shot Taylor a glare as if she were saying, “I dare you to argue with me.” Taylor flinched.  
  
“I’ll take care of him for you,” Caliko offered gently. “Don’t worry. I’d like to help.”  
  
“Miss Wright,” Taylor started.  
  
“No, no, don’t waste your breath,” Elizabeth handed Caliko the basin. “I’ll go to the market…”  
  
Taylor wrapped her blanket tightly as she forced herself to sit up.  
  
“Colonel!”  
  
Stifling a cough, she looked up at Elizabeth, “I know specific herbs to get. Echinacea for coughs, basil leaves or garlic, probably both—” she coughed “—ginger for the stomach ache…I don’t know, perhaps elderberry…”  
  
Caliko eyed her dubiously.  
  
“Okay, fine, just lie back down!” Elizabeth snapped.  
  
Caliko and Taylor both stared at Elizabeth, wondering if she broke late 18th century etiquette by snapping at the Colonel.  
  
“Uh…” Caliko looked at Elizabeth.  
  
Elizabeth’s face flushed of color and she bowed her head.  
  
“Oh God, I’m so sorry!”  
  
Panicked, Elizabeth left the room in a rush and went downstairs to go to the market again.  
  
“I uh…” Caliko glanced out of the room.  
  
“I was just…” Taylor blinked in disbelief.  
  
Caliko set the basin on the floor and closed the door. Then, she dusted her dress off and proceeded to sit down beside Taylor.  
  
“She broke etiquette,” Caliko soothed. “She’s supposed to react like that in this era. Just, lie back down, Taylor. You look awfully pale. My poor sister.”  
  
“I wasn’t this sick yesterday,” Taylor protested with a cough. “I had a stomach ache, but I thought it was from what happened before I ‘woke up’.”  
  
“Just, lie down…” Caliko bent down and dipped the cloth in the basin. “Hm, it’s odd seeing Sense and Sensibility from inside the story, and the fact that we’re in the Colonel’s house in Delaford.”  
  
“Ugh, considering I’m Alan Rickman…” Taylor coughed. “Not that I have a complaint, but I am definitely embarrassed as hell.”  
  
Caliko pulled the cloth out and wrung it over the basin.  
  
“This gives us a chance to be alone for a little while, at least,” she murmured and placed it over Taylor’s forehead. “So, any ideas on what brought us here?”  
  
Taylor flinched at the touch of the icy-cold wash cloth.  
  
“Not particularly, though I had the idea that it was Loki…god of mischief,” Taylor’s voice sounded weaker than she realized.  
  
“You sound doubtful,” Caliko commented.  
  
“Well, the problems are, how is he interacting, and why,” Taylor put a hand on her stomach and grunted as her stomach churned. Although she did well to forget it, the image of Takagi from the other day again plagued her mind.  
  
“You said you were in _Die Hard_ last,” Caliko started.  
  
“Mm,” Taylor’s stomach lurched. “Yes.”  
  
“What happened in Die Hard? Not in the actual movie. What happened with you in it?”  
  
Taylor willed her stomach to not give in, “Well, at first I was lying on the floor of the truck they arrived on…then after locking down Nakatomi Tower, I went upstairs with what I called the henchmen…” Her thoughts struggled to remain on track with the pain in her stomach, “Did the announcement scene after they herded the employees like sheep…” Taylor sat up, holding her other hand on the towel in her forehead. “Shit…”  
  
“What?” Caliko asked. “Hey!”  
  
“I don’t exactly remember,” Taylor looked at Caliko and coughed. “The last thing I remember—” cough “—is Takagi’s face and hearing Harper scr—” Taylor fell into a fit of heavy coughing. Caliko put a gentle hand on her back while she tried to regain her composure. “Screaming… and Erin’s face when—” cough “— she slipped out of the window with me…”  
  
“You told me yesterday there was a glass sphere with clues that shattered in your hands,” Caliko started, watching her. “You mean to tell me you don’t remember that?”  
  
Taylor shook her head, “I don’t…”  
  
“Well, that’s not precisely good,” Caliko remarked.  
  
“No, neither is the feeling in my stomach,” Taylor’s words felt dry on her lips as she spoke.  
  
Caliko stood up quickly, “not on me!”  
  
Frantic, Caliko looked around to find something for her to use.  
  
“Crap,” Caliko hissed.  
  
“Not yet, sheesh,” Taylor sighed.  
  
“You look pale as hell,” Caliko told her.  
  
“Mm, I’m surprised you can tell with my pasty-ass…”  
  
Caliko reached for a pillow Taylor threw on the floor the previous night and she threw it at Taylor.  
  
“You just called your man pasty,” she pointed out.  
  
“You’re right,” Taylor took the pillow. “He has more—”cough “—color than I do.”  
  
“Make a really awful joke and that pillow goes over your face,” Caliko teased as Taylor set the pillow aside.  
  
“You wouldn’t,” Taylor coughed. “Well, unless I said you have a crush on your manager.” A sly grin crossed her lips.  
  
Caliko grabbed the pillow from beside Taylor and placed it over her face.  
  
“No one shall know…” Caliko’s face was bright pink with embarrassment.  
  
“No no no shiiiiiit,” Taylor flailed weakly under the pillow and coughed. “I won’t mention it again! I bruise easily!”  
  
Laughing, Caliko let go of the pillow and watched Taylor pull it off of her face.  
  
“Don’t feel bad, I kinda still have a crush on my AP Biology teacher,” she mumbled, coughing again.  
  
“Okay, so you’re sick and you’re not remembering much of what happened in _Die Hard_ , great…” Caliko crossed her arms. “And I don’t have pockets. So…Colonel, what do you propose?”  
  
Taylor coughed.  
  
“I…” she sighed. “I can’t seem to think. Though, must I be quarantined in my room? Perhaps I can get fresh air…”  
  
“Okay, so did you want to get dressed?” Caliko asked.  
  
“I’d like to,” Taylor threw her legs over her bed. “But do I have the energy?”  
  
“I don’t know, do you?” Caliko asked.  
  
Nausea fell over Taylor once again and she fell back on the bed.  
  
“Goddammit Loki…”  
  
“Now I’m starting to wonder if Loki had a part in this? It’s the only thing that would explain you being sick. Because Colonel Brandon was not originally sick in the book, or the movie.”  
  
“Yeah and Hans originally did not have an extremely bad limp and we saw what happened there…” Taylor lifted her hands and looked at them.  
  
“You remember that?” Caliko asked.  
  
“Part of it,” Taylor’s eyes widened as she recognized scars on her hands. Immediately, she sat back up. “Where did these come from?”  
  
Caliko looked at her hands with her, gently touching them.  
  
“Those look like scars from an accident with glass,” Caliko told her.  
  
“Perhaps the whole point of being Hans and Colonel Brandon is for me to suffer…” Taylor murmured. “Then why Cal, Erin, and Harper? Although, Harper must have suffered…he was screaming.” Harper’s scream echoed in her mind. “Erin fell off with me. But I remember, Harper was screaming…Erin looked terrified before she fell…” Her mind was trying to piece everything together.  
  
“Take your time,” Caliko urged her. “Maybe stop thinking about it for awhile.”  
  
Taylor coughed, “How? What if Harper is still suffering? And Erin? You may be next too!”  
  
“Come now, Colonel,” Caliko soothed.

  
“You and I both know that I have anxiety, and calming down is sure as hell not happening,” Taylor felt a wave of warmth again, making her shudder. “I have to know what is going on.” With that she looked up at Caliko with Alan’s deep hazel eyes, which glinted in the dim light. Then, she glanced away.  
  
“Taylor, you need to rest,” Caliko told her sternly. “Even Alan would tell you to sit down.”  
  
“Alan!” Taylor coughed her exclamation. “What if he’s trapped in this too, somehow?”  
  
“Oh Lord Almighty…” Caliko breathed. “You truly are a Ravenclaw, huh? Can’t get you to stop thinking for five seconds.”  
  
“Gods, no, I couldn’t bear it if Alan was stuck in this somehow too,” Taylor sighed. “But how am I going to stop it?”  
  
“By drinking lots of orange juice,” Caliko told her.  
  
“I don’t think this time period has that…” Taylor coughed.  
  
“Well then, I will just have to find an equivalent,” Caliko sniffed.  
  
“Perhaps,” Taylor hesitated.  
  
“Well, I recommend you get comfy,” Caliko told her. “We may be here awhile.”  
  
Taylor coughed, “Well, perhaps when I recover enough you can show me the proper way to ride a horse…”  
  
“That’s better thinking,” Caliko smiled.  
  
Both of them heard noise from outside.  
  
“Elinor! Are you coming back soon?”  
  
“Margaret,” Caliko murmured.  
  
“Go answer it for me,” Taylor coughed. “Just, please stay with me until Elizabeth returns…I don’t want to be alone.”  
  
Caliko nodded.  
  
“I promise, Taylor,” she assured. “I’d never leave my little sister to be alone.”  
  
Taylor forced a weak smile to her lips.  
  
“Thank you, Cal,” she whispered.  
  
Caliko bowed and quickly left to answer the front door. Thoughtful, Taylor curled up on her side and willed her anxiety down. She was not going to get better if she kept getting riled up over these issues. Yet, deep down she knew it would be a difficult task. Something nefarious was occurring, and Taylor wanted to get to the bottom of it even if it were the last damn thing she did.

 ——

There was a dark room. Alan Rickman was laying on the floor of a cage, slowly regaining consciousness. As he opened his eyes, he caught a glimpse of a white electronic light on his right side. Pushing himself to sit upright, he felt a throbbing pain in his temple. _What the_ fuck _happened_ , were the words that crossed his mind. Gingerly, he put his hand up to his temple and rubbed it.  
  
After his eyes adjusted to the electronic light, he spotted a dark figure hunched over what Alan could only guess was a keyboard, judging from the sound of keys clacking. There was a golden glint coming from something like horns on the figure’s head. After thinking, he noticed that a hand was being reflected in the dim computer light. The hand was pale. Suddenly, the typing ceased and the figure straightened up.  
  
“So you’re awake,” a British accented voice started. His voice sounded familiar.  
  
“Tom?” Alan asked.  
  
The figure broke out in a fit of laughter.  
  
“You silly mortal, Tom Hiddleston is only my actor,” the voice chuckled after a few moments, spinning around in his chair. “I’m Loki of Asgard.”  
  
Alan reached for the metal bar with his right hand and gripped it as he shifted uncomfortably on the floor.  
  
“The god of mischief,” Alan finished. _That does not mean anything good is coming out of this_.  
  
There was a voice coming from one of the screens. Peering over the god’s shoulder, he noticed that each screen had what appeared to be in the Sense and Sensibility universe. Curious, he shifted to his knees and inched closer to the front of the cage to catch a glimpse. On the screen, he saw his face yet Alan knew that was not him. Colonel Brandon was running his fingers through his hair, working hard to fight something down. Loki followed the dead actor’s gaze to the screen.  
  
“I think she’s got some promise in acting,” Loki remarked, turning around. “Hm, what should I add to her illness, Alan?”  
  
“ _Her_?” Alan asked. “What do you mean _her?_ ”  
  
“I don’t know, who’s your guess?” Loki stared at the screen and tapped his fingers on the desk in thought. “Oh, I know. Make her vomit.”  
  
“You’re not talking about…”  
  
Loki slammed his hand down on the button and moments later there was a retching sound from the screen.  
  
“…Taylor Michaelis,” Alan’s heart dropped.  
  
“Ooh right on Caliko’s dress!” Loki cackled, clapping to himself. “Brilliant, Loki!”  
  
“You bastard!” Alan threw himself against the bars and Loki lazily pointed a finger at him.  
  
“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Loki taunted.  
  
“What the hell do you want?” Alan asked.  
  
“I’m…BORED,” Loki declared.  
  
“And that’s my problem, how?” Alan sneered.  
  
“And there’s her panicking,” Loki mumbled, returning his gaze to his screens. “Yaaaaaawn. Actually, wait. Good idea!” Loki started typing again. “I can give her an anxiety attack. Make her worse.”  
  
“You didn’t answer my question,” Alan snapped at Loki.  
  
Instead of making Taylor worse, Loki spun in his chair to face Alan again. The light behind the god was casting a shadow over his face in a more dramatic manner than any lighting Alan had ever dealt with. Narrowing his eyes at the actor, Loki smirked.  
  
“Who said I have to answer to you?” Loki asked. “You are beneath me. You bloody mortal creatures, think you’re entitled to every single answer!”  
  
Alan flinched.  
  
“Now if you will _excuse_ me, I need to go pretend I’m not doing stupid shit and go to the gods’ meeting,” Loki stood up. “Don’t try to escape.”  
  
Alan clenched his teeth as Loki swept away with his emerald cloak flowing behind him. After a few moments, he returned his gaze to the computer screens and saw Taylor and Caliko on one screen. Another had a girl with darker skin and purple in her hair stuck in a dark place. Another screen had a man—Alan recognized him as Mr. Palmer from _Sense and Sensibility_. Yet, he was not acting quite right…  
  
Before Alan could think about it, he heard the other girl crying out.  
  
“Hello?” she called. “Anyone there? Where am I? Taylor? Harper?”  
  
There was another voice—another female voice. On another screen above Mr. Palmer. A pale white girl was stuck in a dark place too, just like the other girl.  
  
“Help!” she pleaded.  
  
Overwhelmed and feeling helpless, Alan sat back and watched the screens. What the hell is going on? And what did a god want with him and these girls (and guy)?

 ——

  
A week passed Taylor and Caliko by. They heard nothing from Taylor’s other two friends. By this point, Taylor had recovered enough to start working on properly riding a horse. Caliko returned to the Delaford manor again that day and Taylor was properly dressed and waiting.  
  
“You look better today, Colonel,” Caliko greeted.  
  
“And you look well,” Taylor grinned.  
  
“And she smiles,” Caliko watched as Taylor closed the door behind her.  
  
“I feel much better,” Taylor remarked. “After my fever broke yesterday, I’ve been regaining strength.”  
  
“Are you sure you should be out here right now?” Caliko asked.  
  
“I’m not stumbling, am I?” Taylor asked.  
  
“No…” Caliko watched her. “I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”  
  
“I’ll be fine,” Taylor assured. “Say, want to teach me the proper way to ride a horse?”  
  
“How did you ride your horse the other day, if you don’t know how?” Caliko asked.  
  
“Uhhh…I just tried my best…hoped I wouldn’t die,” Taylor admitted, adjusting her jacket.  
  
“So you winged it…” Caliko sighed. “I dunno, you look sick still. Are you certain we should try?”  
  
Before Taylor could speak, she heard sounds of horse hooves hitting the ground in the distance. Surprised, both girls turned towards the sound of the hooves. In the distance, they could see a man with dark hair approaching. He pulled his reins and slowed his horse down.  
  
“Ugh, it’s Mr. Willoughby,” Taylor muttered. “I wasn’t fond of his character.”  
  
“Fair enough,” Caliko agreed in a whisper.  
  
“Good morning, Colonel!” Willoughby called as he approached them. “Heard you were ill!”  
  
Taylor scowled, “I’m fine.”  
  
“Might you be getting old?” Willoughby taunted.  
  
Taylor blinked at him, “Hm, might you be getting too big for your britches, there?”  
  
Willoughby laughed.  
  
“What are you trying to insinuate here, Colonel?” he countered.  
  
“Don’t…” Caliko whispered.  
  
“Just saying, you might be bolder than you should be,” Taylor replied without hesitation. “Taunting a Colonel. Must be right mad.”  
  
“Taylor…” Caliko whispered. “You’re playing his dislike of Willoughby way too early.”  
  
“Oh he knows the Colonel doesn’t like him,” Taylor responded. “Obvious in the beginning.”  
  
“Mad, or you could say braver than most?”  
  
“Hmmm could say you’re downright stupid,” Taylor retorted. “Couldn’t consider you brave. You wouldn’t know bravery even if it were a snake and it bit you in the arse.”  
  
Caliko retaliated at the burn and she had to turn away to avoid being seen trying to not bust out laughing.  
  
“Of course a self-righteous colonel would know bravery,” Willoughby taunted.  
  
Taylor felt that taunt and she stepped forward.  
  
“Colonel,” Caliko started more firmly, nudging Taylor in her side. “How about we go horseback riding instead of chit-chatting?”  
  
“I dunno, Colonel, this fine lass seems less your type,” Willoughby teased.  
  
“Oh shut up, would you?” Taylor snapped at him, then turned to Caliko. “Miss Dashwood—”  
  
“Come on, you daft man,” Caliko grabbed her wrist and dragged her away before she could escalate the scene.  
  
“Bye, Colonel! See you ‘round, eh?”  
  
“Oh shove it!” Taylor exclaimed as Caliko dragged her away. Then, she returned her attention to her friend. “Hey, hey, that hurts!”  
  
“You could have messed things up!” Caliko told her, stopping when they were well-hidden from any prying eyes, especially Mr. Willoughby’s. She let go of Taylor’s wrist and placed her hands on her hips, “I know you don’t like him, but Colonel Brandon is an honorable man and would not start a fight.”  
  
Exasperated, Taylor exhaled a heavy sigh and rubbed her wrist.  
  
“I know he wouldn’t… sorry, I couldn’t keep my cool…” Taylor clenched her hands. “I don’t know why I felt the need to roast him…”  
  
Caliko cracked a smile, “I know you want to roast people but I don’t know how everyone else in this time period feels about being roasted. It’s not 2019, it’s like 1795 or something. Things are fairly different.”  
  
For a few moments, Taylor felt like a scolded child. She dipped her head and yielded.  
  
“I’m not familiar with this time period,” Taylor admitted.  
  
“Well, I’m not exactly either, but I think I’ve read enough Jane Austen to make assumptions and try to help you,” Caliko assured her.  
  
Still feeling like a scolded child, but finally calming down a bit, Taylor brought her arms up to her chest and crossed them.  
  
“Thank you, Caliko,” she murmured, gazing back at her adopted sister’s eyes. “You’re a great friend.”  
  
Caliko smiled and jerked her head towards the stable, “So, you want to learn how to _properly_ ride a horse without winging it? Come on, young’un.”  
  
An amused grin finally broke Taylor’s embarrassment and she followed her, “I’m not a young’un!”  
  
“I’m thirty, you’re twenty,” Caliko teased. “You’re a young’un.”  
  
“As Alan Rickman, I’m fifty,” Taylor giggled.  
  
“Nah, he’s got thirty years on you physically,” Caliko poked her in the ribs.  
  
“Alright, you got me there…” Taylor admitted. “I feel it, too…”  
  
“Well, I bet you do!” Caliko laughed.  
  
The two of them laughed for a fair couple of moments, before returning to silence.  
  
“This is great,” Caliko admitted. “I’m having more fun than I thought I would.”  
  
“Me too,” Taylor agreed.

 


	6. Sensibility is Learned

**Chapter** **Six** : **Sensibility** **is** **Learned**

“Colonel, one of the girls is not acting right,” came Caliko’s voice on a day that they were visiting Barton Cottage. “It’s Margaret.”  
  
Anxious, Taylor sipped her tea and gazed around for the young girl. When she finally spotted the girl, she noticed that she was curled up in a corner by herself. There was a refusal to talk to anybody.  
  
“Has she said anything?” Taylor asked.  
  
“Yes,” Caliko nodded. “‘ _My name is not Margaret; my name is Erin_.’”  
  
“Erin?” Taylor asked, a surge of hope flooding over her.  
  
Caliko nodded.  
  
“Cal, that’s Erin! My best friend!” Taylor exclaimed. “Have you talked to her?”  
  
“I haven’t had the chance,” Caliko sighed. “As soon as Erin said that, Mrs. Dashwood sent her to her room. And then today…and I haven’t been able to get a chance to speak with her alone.”  
  
Taylor watched the Dashwoods talking to Sir John and Mrs. Jennings. They appeared to be deep in conversation.  
  
“What should we do?” Caliko asked.  
  
“We talk to Erin,” Taylor rose to her feet and helped Caliko up. “Preferably now rather than later.”  
  
“Definitely,” Caliko agreed, accepting Taylor’s help. “God I hate wearing these dresses…”  
  
“I lucked out with being Colonel Brandon—no dresses,” Taylor agreed as they began approaching Erin.  
  
“Colonel Brandon! What are you up to now?” Sir John asked.  
  
Flinching, Taylor turned towards him and hesitated a smile.  
  
“Margaret looks a bit lonely, don’t you think?” she hoped that would work.  
  
“Ah, always so caring of the children,” Sir John chided. “Go on with you.”  
  
“Perhaps talk some sense into the child!” Mrs. Dashwood exclaimed at Taylor.  
  
Annoyance clawed at Taylor as she gave a small nod of acknowledgement. When she turned away again, she lowered her head and she gave a wry look at Caliko. Amused, she patted Taylor on the shoulder.  
  
“I think you’re a fine Colonel Brandon,” she assured her. “A very goofy one, mind you, but a fine Colonel.”  
  
“I’m glad someone has confidence in me,” Taylor murmured as they approached Erin. “Erin…”  
  
Frightened, the little girl looked up at her and shifted away from her with discomfort. Gazing behind Caliko, she noticed eyes on them and she swallowed hard.  
  
“Who are you?” she asked, looking at them.  
  
Crouching down with her feet firmly planted in the ground, Taylor made eye contact with Erin. Hesitant, Erin returned Taylor’s (Well, Alan’s) hazel-eyed gaze. For a few moments, a tense silence lingered in the air. Curious, Caliko knelt down beside Taylor and then turned her head to watch her. A few moments passed before Taylor could fill the silence.  
  
She was scared. What if something happened to Erin and cannot remember her own friend? Yet Taylor knew she had to fill the silence. Fear held her back for a few more heartbeats, until she could not bear the fear anymore.  
  
“I dunno,” Taylor smiled. “Who would you think?”  
  
“Colonel Brandon?” Erin asked.  
  
“In a way…yes…” Taylor trailed off. “You know me, though. Not as Colonel Brandon, but…as your friend…Remus.”  
  
Erin’s eyes brightened up.  
  
“Taylor?!” she exclaimed, returning to a not-so-scared position. “Oh my goodness!”  
  
Both Taylor and Caliko flinched.  
  
“Not so loud!” Taylor whispered harshly. “I don’t want _them_ to know.”  
  
When Taylor nodded towards the last two Dashwoods and their cousin, Erin’s eyes grew wide with embarrassment.

  
“Oh, sorry,” she whispered. “Taylor! So, who’s this beside you?”  
  
A smile crossed Caliko’s face.  
  
“We haven’t met, but Taylor has told me a lot about you,” she started. “I’m Caliko.”  
  
“Caliko…” Erin started. “Taylor’s mentioned you a couple of times. You’ve drawn stuff for her.”

  
“I’ve probably mentioned the stories,” Taylor mentioned. “Anyway, off-topic. Erin, what is the last thing you remember?”  
  
“Last thing I remember?” Erin wondered. “Before this?”  
  
“Yes,” Taylor nodded.  
  
“Before…I remember Harper screaming. When I looked behind me, he was…he was…the zombies got to him,” Erin’s eyes widened with horror. “And that dude…he was really scary…the one you were scrambling backwards to avoid. You fell over the edge but you were able to grasp onto the ledge before you fell too far. I grabbed you and tried to pull you back up but you accidentally let go and we fell.”  
  
Uncomfortably, Taylor shifted her weight off of a leg after it cramped up with a phantom pain.  
  
“That’s right… I accidentally swung my injured leg into the window and it hurt so much I couldn’t hold on,” she remembered.  
  
Erin nodded, “I figured that was what happened. When I woke up, though…I was in this weird place in total darkness. It felt as though I was just floating in a sea of darkness. Like, it was not a good feeling. It was anxiety-inducing and stomach churning. I thought I was alone…yet, I heard another voice and they were crying for help. But it was so infinite, there was no way I could have found them.” She breathed a shaky sigh, “It was so scary, Taylor. I thought I was dead and instead of going to heaven or hell, I ended up in limbo.”  
  
Gentle as ever, Taylor nodded her agreement.  
  
“It would have scared me too,” she admitted in a soft voice. “It’s okay, Erin. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Neither will Caliko.”  
  
“What about Harper? Is Harper okay?” Erin asked.  
  
“I dunno,” Taylor admitted. “We haven’t found him yet.”  
  
Blinking in disbelief, Erin leaned backwards and stared at them.  
  
“We haven’t met Mr. Palmer yet,” Caliko told her.  
  
“We need to,” Taylor looked at her sister. “We can’t rely on the plot of the movie now. It’s hardly the plot anymore, really.” She paused, “Wait…the Colonel is supposed to get word of Beth. But I don’t know how long until then.”  
  
“Perhaps another week or two,” Caliko thought.  
  
“Or three,” Taylor sighed.  
  
“Well, let’s see… we’re kind of doing the Barton Cottage scene right now, sort of,” Caliko thought.  
  
“In the movie we’re supposed to see Mr. Willoughby for the first time,” Taylor added.  
  
“I’m so glad you two know this universe—I don’t…” Erin murmured.  
  
“I’ve watched it about seven times by now,” Taylor looked at Caliko, whose face turned pink with embarrassment.  
  
“I’ve lost count,” she admitted.  
  
“Certainly you don’t watch it for the same reason I do,” Taylor teased.  
  
“Mm,” Caliko did not answer. “What if we write…no, no…We can ask Mrs. Jennings about inviting Mr. Palmer and his wife over!”  
  
“We need to do it soon, though…” Caliko sighed.  
  
“Now I need to figure out who the other person is…” Taylor gave a frustrated sigh. “There has to be one other person because of what Erin said.”  
  
“I dunno if it narrows anything down, but the voice sounded female,” Erin told her.  
  
“Mmm no, not particularly,” Taylor muttered. “But it’s helpful to know. Because the person who was in there might be a character in here. If it’s a girl, or woman, they may be a few characters. Marianne or Beth is my guess, but I could be wrong. But I have so many female friends…I wonder who it could be. Kat? Susan? Lyndsey? Leslie? Robin? Jess? Kendra? Or any of my classmates I became friends with too?”  
  
“Who’s amity is the greatest towards you?” Erin asked. “Me, Harper, and Caliko are inseparable to you.”  
  
“Whoever’s doing this might be going for closest friends,” Caliko agreed.  
  
Taylor hesitated, “Kat is the closest to me out of them.”  
  
“So if we deduce by fact of conviviality to Taylor, then Kat is the girl I heard,” Erin’s gaze was thoughtful.  
  
Both Taylor and Caliko stared at Erin. Confused, Erin looked back at them.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Using big words in normal conversation…” Caliko muttered. “You are not doing that in front of Marianne.”  
  
“So? What if Marianne is—”  
  
“Good Lord Colonel, you’re awfully talkative with the ladies!” came Sir John’s voice.  
  
“Oh for Odin’s sake…” Taylor breathed under her breath, then turned her head to the side and pretended to have just realized Sir John was there. “Yes, Margaret, I could tell you all about India…”  
  
Erin kicked Taylor in the ribs and Taylor winced.  
  
“It’s getting late, innit Colonel?” Sir John asked.  
  
When Taylor glanced up at the cloudy sky, she realized it was darker than it was earlier. In the distance, she could vaguely make out the orange and red of the pending sunset behind the clouds. Behind Sir John, Taylor could see Marianne approaching.  
  
“Oh, er…indeed it is…” Taylor blinked in disbelief.  
  
“We need to go home,” Mrs. Dashwood called out.  
  
“Come along, Margaret,” Marianne reached for Erin’s hand.  
  
Nervous, Erin turned to Taylor and offered a silent plea. Sad, Taylor shook her head and mouthed, “I can’t.” Beside Erin, Caliko placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a kind smile. Looking up at Caliko, then back at Taylor, Erin had a worried expression. Smiling, Taylor nodded.  
  
“Go with Caliko and she’ll help you out,” Taylor whispered. “I trust Cal with my life, Remus.”  
  
Hesitantly, Erin stood up and Caliko turned to Marianne. For a few heartbeats, Erin remained hesitant.  
  
“Colonel, will I get to see you again?” Erin chose her words carefully.  
  
Taylor grinned and nodded, “Soon enough, Miss Margaret. But you better be on your best behaviour, Miss Dashwood will tell me if you aren’t. I won’t read you any sonnets if you don’t.”  
  
Erin tried to smile, “I will be on my best behaviour now.”  
  
“The Colonel does well with children, huh, Marianne?” Caliko asked Marianne.  
  
“Oh, uh…yes, he does…” Marianne stared at Taylor wistfully. Taylor hardly acknowledged her since she had arrived. Marianne shooed Erin and Caliko away. “Go on. I’d like a quick word with the Colonel.”  
  
Caliko nodded and took Erin away. Sad to watch them leave her again, Taylor almost did not hear Marianne.  
  
“Colonel…I was hoping you’d be willing to play the piano forté for me one day?” her voice was hopeful.  
  
After Taylor realized Marianne was speaking to her, she turned her attention back and offered an awkward smile.  
  
“Er, why should I when there is a far superior musician right here?” she asked.  
  
“Well, I’d like to hear you play sometime,” Marianne smiled.  
  
Nodding, Taylor caught Caliko’s eyes.  
  
“Perhaps next time,” she agreed with hesitation. “Your mum would like to go home now, Miss Marianne.”  
  
“‘Course,” Marianne smiled. “Thank you, Colonel, for helping Margaret…I thought she’d gone truly mad.”  
  
Without another word, Marianne spun around and scampered off with her family.  
  
“Oh, Brandon you dog!” Came Sir John’s voice.  
  
Taylor turned, “thank you, John. But, uh, perhaps I should return to Delaford. Keep my maids from worrying ‘bout me.” Quickly she turned towards the stables and began walking towards her horse.  
  
“Quite right,” Sir John agreed, following her. “Say, Colonel, you’ve been acting quite strangely lately. Is everything alright?”  
  
“Quite alright,” Taylor lied, pulling the door open and climbing onto the horse. “After that cold, I have been feeling off but it’s nothing that won’t go away on it’s own.”  
  
“Of course,”Sir John agreed. “If something is wrong, you would tell me, right?”  
  
Taylor feigned a smile, “Of course I would.”  
  
“Quite right, then,” Sir John nodded. “Sorry. Go on you badger! Before night arrives.”  
  
“Planning on it,” Taylor flicked the reins. “Good night.”

 ——

The last girl in the darkness was named Kat, Alan realized. Loki remained at his computer as he watched the girls and the guy scurrying about and Alan remained in his uncomfortable cell.  
  
“You’re unusually quiet,” Loki mentioned.  
  
With a blank expression, Alan stared at him.  
  
“The hell d’you think I can do from back here?”  
  
“You haven’t done anything fun,” Loki whined.  
  
“I don’t care,” Alan shrugged. “It’s not my problem.”  
  
“It should be,” Loki hunched over with his hands on his knees. “You know what I’ve been doing with you? Or is your puny mortal energy not wise enough to catch on?”  
  
Admittedly, Alan _had_ felt weaker than normal. Yet he chopped it off to anxiety for the girls. To be fair, he was worried for them all and it was because he knew mostly of Loki’s nefarious plans. Mostly.  
  
“Ahh…you blamed your anxiety for them, didn’t you?” Loki asked. “Fair enough, mortal.”  
  
“You’re hurting them,” Alan told him. “You traumatized at least three of them with your shitty move in _Die Hard_.”  
  
“Hey—I worked hard on that shit,” Loki snapped.  
  
“Yeah…because zombies made total sense,” Alan retorted.  
  
Loki sighed, “You insolent mortal.”  
  
“What are you doing with me, then?” Alan asked. “If you don’t think I’m too stupid because I’m a mortal.”  
  
“Give me a second, I’m programming a hurricane,” Loki grumbled as he spun back around. Before Alan could voice his protest, Loki waved him off, “don’t worry, I’m making it fall back to a cat 1. It’s nothing. It will just dump a bunch of rain on Taylor and her friends.”  
  
“Why the hell—”Alan cut off.  
  
“Chaos, that’s why,” Loki muttered.  
  
Knowing he was not about to get a better answer than that, Alan leaned back again and crossed his arms. The chaos god’s hands flew across the keyboard as he programmed the storm.  
  
“Okay,” he said after a few moments. “That’s set up, and they won’t get to see each other for a few days. Alright so…” Loki turned back to Alan. “I’ve been trying to intertwine your energy with hers.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“And some of your memories from the movie.”  
  
“What the hell?”  
  
“Aaaaaaaand it’s been causing hiccups in the system…which is why I had to put them into _Sense and Sensibility_ ,” Loki scowled. “Putting your energy with Taylor’s is difficult. Both of you are like peas in a pod, and that has been causing some problems…”  
  
“Why?” Alan asked.  
  
“Because both of your energies is like trying to divide by—”  
  
“I don’t care about that!” Alan snapped.  
  
“Oh, you want …” Loki rolled his eyes. “Demanding little shits. Fine. I told you, I’m bored. This is my own artistic chaos project and I thought if I could do it right, Taylor could live out the rest of her lives as your characters. I have to use your memory for it too.”  
  
“What about her friends?” Alan asked, not that he agreed with any of it.  
  
“Well, they are added bonuses to help keep poor Taylor content,” Loki sighed.  
  
Alan looked at one of the screens. There was Taylor, getting ready for bed as Colonel Brandon. No, she definitely was not alright. In fact, as she lied down on the bed, Alan could see tears streaming down her face.  
  
“She isn’t content,” he noted. “Just because she likes me, doesn’t mean she wants to be me…”  
  
“No, but I’m still working out the kinks,” Loki mumbled.  
  
“She never said she wanted to be me,” Alan pointed out. “Look at her! She’s missing her own life! She doesn’t belong in there as Colonel Brandon. She belongs to her own body. She’s supposed to be in university right now.”  
  
“Mm,” Loki shrugged. “Her pain is my amusement.”  
  
“You sadistic bastard!” Alan threw himself at the cage.  
  
Loki clapped his hands forcibly, causing a pressure wave to fall over Alan’s ears. Wincing, Alan fell backwards and covered his ears.  
  
“Ahhhh…” he groaned.  
  
“Don’t you do that again,” Loki hissed.  
  
Wincing hard, he glared back up at Loki.  
  
“Bastard,” he hissed back.  
  
Loki got out of his seat and knelt down in front of Alan and stuck his face close to the dead actor’s face. A mischievous grin crossed his face as he faced him.  
“You say it like it’s a bad thing, Alan,” Loki taunted. “I’m a god. What do I care if it makes me a bastard?”  
  
“You’re no god,” Alan growled.  
  
Loki grabbed Alan by the back of his neck and roughly pulled his face to the bars. An excruciating pain in his cheekbone told Alan that Loki had injured him. Then, he heard Taylor scream out in pain from the monitors, but Alan was focused hard on Loki. The mischief god was pissed.  
  
“Your puny mind could never understand the workings of gods!” Loki growled, his growl almost dog-like. “Insult me again, mortal. I won’t spare you, even for the girl.”  
  
Roughly, Loki shoved Alan away and he scrambled away from the god, gingerly touching his face. Drawing his hand away, Alan discovered crimson on his fingers. Shocked, he looked back at Loki.  
  
“Blood…” he murmured.  
  
“You’re not as oblivious as I thought,” Loki snorted at him.  
  
“How am I bleeding? I’m not alive,” Alan asked.  
  
“Okay I take that back, you _are_ pretty oblivious,” Loki slapped a hand on his face. “Jeez. Look at the screen with Taylor and ask that question again!”  
  
With Loki’s reaction, Alan did not have to look. Making the connections in his head about their energies…and Taylor’s screech from earlier... Alan gasped.  
  
“You did not,” he turned his head away without tearing his hazel gaze from the god.  
  
“You get it now?!” Loki exclaimed, then began cackling. “I’ve linked you two. What I do to you, she feels! So if you want to keep her safe, I reckon you won’t question my authority next time. Because next time, I will hurt you both. If you keep it up, I kill you both and I restart my project. You don’t want me to do that now do you?”  
  
“I’d rather you keep us all out of your ridiculous scheme,” Alan snapped.  
  
“Well, you have no choice but to participate,” Loki sneered.  
  
“Bite me,” Alan growled, crossing his arms.  
  
Loki sniffed, “I’m going back to my entertainment.”  
  
Alan bit back a retort but turned away completely. There was simply no point in arguing with the god. He said it himself, if Alan did anything wrong Loki would not only hurt Alan, but Taylor as well. _Poor girl_ , he thought. _Who would have thought your infatuation with me could cost you so dearly? To be fair, no one thought it could be like this_. Then, Alan realized Loki had taken advantage of Taylor’s infatuation. _That is absolutely wrong_ , he thought. Who even does that? Oh wait…Loki…Ob _vious_ ly.  
  
Sighing, Alan shook his head. There was a problem, and it went deeper than Taylor knew. If only there was a way to aid her. Glancing back at the screens at everyone’s—except Kat’s—sleeping faces, his heart broke. He needed to talk to them.  
  
When Loki stood up and stretched, he turned away from his computer and stalked out. Then, the idea hit Alan: he could close his eyes and ‘sleep’ too! Perhaps he could find Taylor and explain to her what was going on! He knew it was his only shot.  
  
Lying down on the floor, he closed his eyes and tried to project himself out. It might be the only way!

——

  
When Taylor opened her eyes, she was in a field. The stinging pain from before she fell asleep remained, but it was bearable. Looking around, she noticed the field was familiar to her. On her right, she saw metal bleachers. On her left, a fence over ten yards away. In front of her was a soccer goal. Glancing behind her, she saw the old intermediate school building: Oak Grove Intermediate.  
  
Surprised, she looked down at her hands: she had taken her 9-year-old form, although she still wore the Colonel’s clothes which had shrunk with her. A 9-year-old girl who was lonely most of the time at school. The one who chose her obsessions so that she would not feel lonely. A girl who thought she was broken because very few kids liked her. One who had been reproached for having picked dandelions because she was ‘not in elementary school anymore’.  
  
Glancing back at the soccer goal, she realized it had disappeared and had been replaced with an herb garden, including the dandelions she had wanted to pick that one day. Temptation lured her into kneeling down and begin gathering the beautiful herbs. She could use most of these to make teas, she noted.  
Without any warning, she saw a man appear in her herb garden from her peripheral. Without looking up, she could see a little bit of a long coat blowing in the wind. When she finally lifted her blue-eyed gaze, she saw that it was not just any man. It was Alan Rickman!  
  
“Alan?” she asked, meeting his solemn hazel gaze.  
  
“Yes,” he gave her a curt nod, then crossing over to sit down beside her.  
  
“Oh—uh—what are you doing here, if I may ask?” Taylor asked, her face turning bright pink.  
  
Alan offered her a wry smile, “What? No immediate hug?”  
  
Anxiously, she glanced over her shoulder at the school building, “Won’t I get in trouble?”  
  
Alan followed her gaze, “There’s no one inside, y’know. This is a dream.”  
  
“It is…isn’t it?” Taylor returned her gaze to Alan. “Does that mean you’re a figment of my imagination?”  
  
Smiling, Alan shook his head.  
  
“That’s perceptive of you, but no I am not,” he told her. “I really am here, in your dream.”  
  
Excited, Taylor dropped her herbs and threw her arms around Alan.  
  
“Oh my gods!”  
  
Laughing, Alan returned the hug and embraced Taylor’s tiny frame.  
  
“Took you long enough,” he commented.  
  
Though Taylor’s excitement faded and quickly turned into crying. Given that she was not adjusting well anyway, Alan had partially expected it.  
  
“It’s okay,” he soothed her.  
  
Trembling, Taylor looked up at him with tears rolling down her cheeks, “Alan, I don’t know what to do! My friends and I are all trapped and I’m still missing a few of them!”  
  
Alan sighed and nodded.  
  
“I know,” he admitted. “That’s why I’m here—to warn you. Loki—you’re familiar with him—is causing this. He’s put you lot in this situation for his own sadistic project.”  
  
Wiping at her tears, Taylor nodded.  
  
“I figured he was behind it…” she sniffled, tears still streaming down her face.  
  
“And, well, that is not the worst of it, either,” Alan nodded at the scratch on her face. “That scratch. You know how you got it?” Gingerly, Taylor rubbed the scratch and Alan mimicked her movement. “Notice it’s in the same exact spot as mine.”  
  
“How? You’re dead…you’re just energy…” Taylor looked down and then back up at Alan. “That can’t be possible…”  
  
“Loki,” Alan responded. “Loki has managed to tie our energies in a way that if I get hurt, you suffer the same injury. He—” Thunder interrupted Alan’s train of thought. When both of them looked up, they saw dark clouds. As Taylor stared at the sky, Alan felt a hand on his throat. When he cried out in pain, Taylor felt the hand also and she let go of Alan.  
  
“No, no…” Alan murmured. “Don’t!”  
  
Suddenly, Loki appeared in the dream as well, gripping Alan by his throat.  
  
“You didn’t think I would find out about this?!” Loki sneered, lifting Alan up to his feet and making Taylor fall backwards. Alan winced with pain.  
  
“Asshole,” he coughed.  
  
“No!” she screeched with a rough cough. “Leave him alone! Alan!”  
  
Loki glared at her.  
  
“I’ll be kind,” he growled and snapped his fingers.  
  
At the same time, a loud rumble of thunder sounded and Taylor immediately woke up with a start. Immediately, she bolted upright and coughed. Hands on her throat indicated Alan was still being choked by Loki. Agonizingly, she began coughing and trying to relieve the pressure.  
  
“Oh my gods,” she coughed.  
  
For several moments, she struggled to breathe. Her heart raced, and her blood roared in her ears. With the blood roaring, Taylor failed to hear Elizabeth rush into her room. For two excruciatingly long minutes, Taylor was gasping for air and coughing. Finally, the hands released her and she took a gulp of air in relief. After that, she began raggedly wheezing and trying to regain her composure. Soon, the roar of blood faded and her heart began easing up. The adrenaline was fading now.  
  
“Colonel!”  
  
Coughing, Taylor realized that Elizabeth was in the room with her. As she turned her attention to the maid, there was a bright flash of light outside, followed by an echoing rumble of thunder outside. The maid did not flinch as she held up her lamp.  
  
“Are you okay, Colonel?” she asked, concern rising in her voice.  
  
Sweat dripped into Taylor’s eye, making it sting a little bit. Roughly, she wiped at it. How could she explain what happened?  
  
“Night terror,” she coughed. “It’s…it’s fine. Nothing I can’t deal with.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Elizabeth asked. “You were choking.”  
  
“I’m fine…” Taylor coughed. Now her throat was sore from the incident. _Thanks, Loki. You are a dick…_  
  
“Would you like anything?” Elizabeth asked.  
  
Wordless, Taylor panted a little bit.  
  
“I’ll get you some poppy seeds and make chamomile tea,” Elizabeth told her.  
  
“Please,” Taylor coughed.  
  
“Of course, Colonel.” Elizabeth rose to her feet and bowed. “I will be right back, sir.”  
  
“Thank you,” Taylor avoided Elizabeth’s chocolate gaze.  
  
When the maid left, Taylor scrambled out of her bed and stumbled over to the colonel’s desk on the other side of the room. Quickly, she blindly reached for the steel striker on his desk and she grabbed the candle she caught sight of in a flash of lightning. Remembering the lesson on how to light it from Chemistry, she placed the candle underneath using what little light she had and lit it using her right hand.  
  
“Come on, light you bugger!” she exclaimed with a hoarse voice.  
  
The candle lit and Taylor set down on the desk. Sitting down, she flipped through the papers on his desk until she found a decent piece to write on. It was necessary that she wrote down her thoughts. If she did not, she would go mad. Then, she picked up the quill from the inkwell and began writing her thoughts down.

_It was Loki. Loki has managed to entwine our energies. Alan took a huge risk to tell me, though. Loki found out and hurt him. I don’t think he’s dead though. But Loki choked me in the process. I need to find out more and figure out how to undo what Loki did._

For several moments, Taylor remained motionless. She had to write more, but what else was there for her to write down? Perhaps the stuff Caliko and Erin told her. Behind her, she heard Elizabeth’s footsteps.  
  
“Colonel, I have your tea and poppy seeds,” she told her. When Taylor glanced up at Elizabeth, she stopped at the door. “Oh, uh…”  
  
“Sorry,” Taylor hesitated, setting the quill back in the inkwell. “I was, uh, writing something important down…”  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in on you,” Elizabeth apologized. “I was not expecting you to have…”  
  
“No, no…” Taylor shook her hands. “It’s really okay. It’s my fault…” Blowing out the candle, she stood back up and crossed the room to Elizabeth. “Thank you for the tea. I really appreciate it, Miss Wright.”  
  
Elizabeth inclined her head, “It’s my duty to ensure you’re content, Colonel.”  
  
Taylor accepted the tea and sipped on it.  
  
“Here’s the poppy seeds,” she offered a small handful of the seeds. “For you to return to sleep.”  
  
“Of course,” Taylor nodded and accepted the seeds. “You may return to your quarters, Miss Wright. You must sleep as well.”  
  
Elizabeth nodded.  
  
“Thank you, Colonel,” she nodded. “I hope you sleep well for the rest of the night.”  
  
“Thank you,” Taylor nodded and Elizabeth bowed and left the room.  
  
Sitting back down on the Colonel’s bed, Taylor took the poppy seeds and sipped on her hot tea.  
  
“I hope I can fall back asleep, too…” she whispered.

 

 


	7. Common Sense, Please

**Chapter** **Seven** : **Common** **Sense** , **Please**

When Taylor finally stirred from her restless sleep later on that morning, almost after mid-morning, the storm was still raging outside. Stretching in the bed, she sat up and felt her back crack in several spots.  
  
“Aahh…” she tilted her head and gasped in pain. Her throat and neck were sore, and her trachea felt vaguely constricted. “Damn… _did_ that really hap—” Her eyes widened at the sound of her hoarse and scratchy voice. “Ahhhhhhh shit…” When she threw her legs over the side of the bed, she rubbed her throat and looked in the mirror. “Owch…”  
  
There were blue-and-black handprints on her neck. Large, like a man’s hands. Like…Loki’s.  
  
“Oh blessed goddess…” she whispered. “That bastard…I need to find the others…”  
  
A loud rumble of thunder told her what was not happening today. Turning back around, Taylor looked for the Colonel’s clothing. The colonel needed to be decent before leaving his room. Not that Taylor expected to leave the house or receive company. Being decent, even when not leaving the house, was a common habit for her. Though, being decent would help her cover her bruises.  
  
“Maybe I can use today to calm down and think…” she whispered hoarsely, putting on a jacket. Suddenly, she tasted iron in her mouth. _Ew, I taste something metallic_ , she thought.   
  
Coughing into her wrist, she winced in pain when she realized she hurt herself again. Looking back at her wrist, she caught sight of scarlet on her wrist. Surprised, she looked back in the mirror: there was blood on the colonel’s mouth.  
  
“I guess that happens when you get choked…” Taylor raised her eyebrows, wiping the blood off with the back of her hand. “Gods…Elizabeth will know…”  
  
_Don’t leave the room much, then_ , Taylor could just about hear Alan tell her with a gentle tone. _Why leave the room when you don’t have to?_  
  
“True…” Taylor muttered to herself. “Could uh…”  
  
Her attention returned to Colonel Brandon’s desk and the paper she wrote on the first time she woke up.  
  
_Write_ , his voice told her. _The thing you know how to do best._  
  
“Write…” she murmured. _I dunno what I’d write…but I’ll start with the stuff I know.  
_  
After crossing the room back to the desk, Taylor sat down in the chair and began writing down what she knew. Perhaps she simply needed to write her thoughts down on paper to make sense of them. Before she could touch the quill, she heard footsteps approaching the room.  
  
“Colonel Brandon, would you like breakfast?”  
  
Taylor felt her stomach growl. Oh shit, she needed to eat. It felt as though a cat was raking their claws through her stomach. Putting a hand on her stomach, she willed the hunger to stop clawing at her.  
  
“Yes, I really would,” Taylor finally answered, wincing at the hunger. _Stooooooooop_ , she thought. _I got the hint._  
  
The door creaked open. Behind the door was Elizabeth holding a tray of food. When she realized Taylor was at the desk and not in the bed, her face turned red. Judging by her face, she did not think Taylor would be up already. Suspicion crossed Taylor’s mind but she forced it down; Elizabeth was a good girl. Just off at times.  
  
“Good morning, Colonel,” she greeted. “I brought you your breakfast. It’s a dreary day, and I hadn’t wanted to make you get up out of bed.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Taylor assured.  
  
Elizabeth approached with Taylor’s breakfast and Taylor pushed away the papers.  
  
“Fresh fried eggs, a little bit of bacon, a crumpet, and a cup of earl grey tea,” she told her.  
  
“Thank you,” Taylor accepted the food. _Nice, earl grey hot_!  
  
“I’m glad you appreciate it,” Elizabeth nodded. “I’ll come back later to get the dish if you are uninterested in leaving the room.”  
  
“Mm,” Taylor felt a cough building up but she did not want to worry Elizabeth. After a few moments, she could not suppress the cough any more and she coughed with her mouth closed. Immediately, she tasted blood again. Now she could not open her mouth, lest she accidentally showed any signs of blood.  
Elizabeth took no notice. Instead, she bowed.  
  
“Enjoy your meal, Colonel,” she smiled and closed the door.  
  
Taylor stared after her for a few moments and then shook her head.  
  
“I miss being me…” she murmured as she began eating her breakfast.

——

Alan sat against the back of the cage, gingerly rubbing his throat. It was still sore from earlier, and was not getting any better. Just like Taylor, he was coughing up blood. Frustration was building up inside. None of them could live like this. Not even Taylor’s friends. Alan was the key to getting them out, but Loki had him on a tight leash! All he was allowed to do was watch them and feel helpless.  
  
When Loki left his room to get a lunch, Alan kicked his cage in frustration.  
  
“If only I had a spoon to cut his heart out with,” he grumbled.  
  
Glancing back up at the monitor, he saw Taylor opening the bedroom door to Colonel Barndon’s maid. With nothing else to really do, Alan watched them.  
  
“Colonel, there’s a leak in the spare bedroom!”  
  
“There’s a leak? Okay, uh, I’ll go fix it then.”  
  
“Really? You would?”  
  
“It’s not something I expect you to do. Besides, I’m taller and I can reach higher than you can. It’s perfectly fine.”  
  
“Oh, oh, I just thought I’d inform you…but thank you.”  
  
Taylor smiled and nodded.  
  
“I’ll fix the leak, it’s no problem,” she inclined her head and quickly left.  
  
When Elizabeth did not follow Taylor, Alan sat up straight.  
  
“What is she doing?” Alan wondered.  
  
Taylor wandered off to another screen, where the other room was. The screen with Elizabeth kept a focus. That was when Loki returned. Yet instead of greeting Alan, he stood by the cage with his burrito and watched Elizabeth. Neither of them looked at each other; they wanted to know what Elizabeth was doing.  
The maid walked into the Colonel’s bedroom and she crossed over to his desk, where the paper Taylor was writing and organizing her thoughts was lying in the open.  
  
“No…” he whispered.  
  
“Yes…” Loki grinned. “Chaos!”  
  
Sitting down, Elizabeth sat down in the Colonel’s chair and looked at the paper. On top of the paper was a handkerchief with blood on it. Although Elizabeth had no idea, Alan and Loki knew it was from Taylor coughing. Confused by the blood, she shoved it aside and looked at the paper Taylor had been writing on. Tension ebbed in the room as she read Taylor’s handwriting. After finishing reading it, she gasped in horror.  
  
“That’s not Colonel Brandon…” she murmured.  
  
Alan’s voice could be heard from the hallway as Taylor approached the room again  
.  
“I couldn’t find the—WHAT THE HELL?!” Her face drained of color as soon as she saw Elizabeth at her desk with the paper in her hands. “Elizabeth! That’s…”  
Elizabeth stood up and faced Taylor.  
  
“You’re not Colonel Brandon, are you?”  
  
“What the hell do you mean?” Taylor asked. “‘Course I’m Colonel Brandon.”  
  
“Yeah?” Elizabeth held up the paper. “Then what is this talking about? Harper? Caliko? Erin? Kat? Alan? Loki? Hans Gruber? Theo? Takagi? Karl? Tony? McClane? Holly Gennero? Who are those people? What’s a zombie? You and some lass named Erin had fallen from a building called Nakatomi Tower and you died? But somehow you’re standing right here in front of me. Some lad named Loki choked you? Is that why there’s blood on your handkerchief?”  
  
Taylor entered the room and stalked over to Elizabeth.  
  
“You had no right to read my personal writings,” Taylor’s voice shook, despite what appeared to be effort to keep her voice steady.  
  
“You will answer my questions.”  
  
Angry, Taylor clenched both of her hands into fists.  
  
“You cannot talk to me like that.”  
  
“So you’re a lass?”  
  
“I…” Taylor hesitated. “I claim no gender…Elizabeth, please. It’s difficult to explain…but I am Colonel Brandon.”  
  
“What’s so difficult to explain?” Elizabeth wondered.  
  
“A lot, really,” Taylor swallowed hard and coughed.  
  
Surprised to see blood come out, Elizabeth stepped backwards.  
  
“Are you dying?”  
  
“No,” Taylor shook her head. “I was choked by a lad named Loki. Actually, he’s a god.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“I know exactly what you’re going to say,” Taylor kicked the door closed. “But I’m no Christian. I do not believe the way you do. Fine, you want to know everything? Sit down and I will tell you.”  
  
“Well, her grandmother baptized her and got her to take communion,” Loki muttered thoughtfully.  
  
“So what?” Alan asked. “She’s not Christian if she claims and shows she is not.”  
  
Loki grunted, “you sound like Frigg.”  
  
“Well, it’s true,” Alan muttered.  
  
“Hello chaos my old friend, I’ve come to summon you again…” Loki sang.  
  
“Really?” Alan asked.  
  
“It’s Disturbed’s version at least,” Loki grumbled.  
  
“So, my name is Taylor Michaelis,” Taylor started, leaning against the door with her arms behind her back. “I’m only physically Colonel Brandon. Mentally, I’m a 20 year old who’s in university studying to become an engineer.”  
  
“This is going to be worse than in _Die Hard_ ,” Loki grumbled.  
  
“So in a way, I am Colonel Brandon, but at the same time I’m not,” Taylor continued.  
  
“Well in this time period, there _were_ witch trials,” Alan muttered. “She should not be mentioning that…”  
  
A soft roll of thunder could be heard from the screens. Harper and Erin and Caliko all had glanced towards the windows. Taylor and Elizabeth did not tear away from each other’s gazes.  
  
“This is a uh… a uh…” Taylor scowled. “Novel. It’s a novel…and a uh…a play…in my universe. One of the actors that played Colonel Brandon is who I look like right now, because it’s focused on this particular actor…His name is Alan.” Taylor nodded at the paper. “He’s my favorite actor. Caliko, Erin, Harper, and Kat are my friends. The others…is a story I cannot tell.”  
  
“Have you gone mad?” Elizabeth asked after a couple of tense moments.  
  
Loki and Alan watched as Taylor swallowed hard. Nervous, she glanced down and shifted her weight to her other foot. It was obvious to Alan she was disappointed, and worried. Disappointed that Elizabeth asked if she had gone mad, worried that Elizabeth might flip out.  
  
“It’s okay Taylor…” Alan whispered.  
  
“I love the tension,” Loki murmured with a wry smile. “And I love your pitiful attempt at telling her it’s okay.”  
  
“Oh shut it!” Alan snapped at Loki. “I’ve had enough of you…”  
  
“I’m not mad,” Taylor swallowed hard again and glanced back up. “It’s the truth…I swear…I can’t lie to you…”  
  
“No, no, you’re a madman!” Elizabeth exclaimed.  
  
“No—I’m—”  
  
“I can’t stay with a madman!” Elizabeth screeched.  
  
“Elizabeth…” Taylor straightened and tried to touch her shoulder. Immediately, Elizabeth slapped her hand away.  
  
“No! Don’t touch me!”  
  
“Elizabeth!” Taylor exclaimed.  
  
“Ooooh it’s getting really good,” Loki’s eyes brightened.  
  
“No!” Elizabeth shoved Taylor away. “I will not be your maid anymore!”  
  
“No, no, please don’t…no, it’s raining…”  
  
Without another word, Elizabeth picked up her skirt and fled. Helpless, Taylor watched her hurry out and slam the bedroom door behind her. Flinching, Taylor stood still and squeezed her eyes shut with a look of, “this can’t be happening” written on the Colonel’s face. Slapping a hand on her face, Taylor crossed over to the bed and sat down on it, burying her face in both hands.  
  
“Oh my gods…” she whispered.  
  
“That was beautiful,” Loki complimented.  
  
“That was awful!” Alan exclaimed. “You’re enjoying her pain, you sadistic arse! Poor girl is all by herself!”  
  
“Oh right, you humans have a heart…” Loki scowled. “Knock it off, would you? You’re raining on my parade.”  
  
Alan bared his teeth at him.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Loki waved his hand dismissively. “You’d like to cut my heart out with a spoon. One, I don’t have a heart. And two, it’s not much of a threat to a god.” Loki reached into his jacket and pulled out another burrito, then handed it to Alan. “Hungry?”  
  
Annoyed, he stared at Loki and thought for a few moments. Finally, he relented and took the burrito.  
  
“Thanks, I s’pose,” Alan grumbled, unwrapping it.  
  
“They had a Mexican food day,” Loki grinned. “The second best thing in the world is Mexican food. The first is chaos.”  
  
Alan shrugged at him, scrambling back a little bit to lean against something while he ate.  
  
“This’ll be over soon enough, once I can get your energies together,” Loki assured him.  
  
“That’s not all that reassuring,” he grumbled, lifting his burrito to his mouth. _I can’t let that happen. I need to get alone again long enough to deliver her a message. And maybe to get help. What if I can get another god’s attention by yelling? Surely…it can’t be that hard…_ At least, it should be easy. Yet, as he watched Loki sit back down in his chair, he knew the only difficult thing right now was to get Loki out of the room.  
  
“Oh gods…Alan, what do I do?” came Taylor’s voice from the computer screens. 

 _Don't give up, kid, please for the love of the Metatron don't give up_ , Alan thought.  _For your sake, and my sake, and your friends' sake please don't give up._  
  
Loki snorted at Taylor and began programming again, “I’ll make Kat…hm… Beth.”  
  
Sighing, Alan shook his head at Loki and watched Taylor. It was not fair to her, or her friends, for this to have happened. They had lives of their own.

——

By the time evening had fallen, Taylor had left the room to try and make something to eat. Elizabeth was long gone at this point, which left Taylor to fend for herself. The storm had long since passed, Taylor noticed. Now the sky outside was a bright yellow from the beginning sunset. This told Taylor she had little time to make supper.  
  
“Shit,” she cursed. _I should hurry…_  
  
Hurrying into the kitchen, she glanced around for foodstuffs. _What can I even make?! Shit…_  
  
“uhm…” she looked around. “Food…ooh, I could fry eggs?”  
  
Well, you can try… she thought.  
  
There was a knock at the front door.  
  
“Taylor, it’s me, Caliko!”  
  
“And Remus!”  
  
Relieved, she spun around and raced to the front door. After unlocking it, she opened it and breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
“Oh my gods, guys,” she breathed. “It’s been hell all day…”  
  
“We figured,” Caliko admitted. “We saw your maid. She was freaking out, but we kept her away from Mrs. Dashwood so she would not ruin the Colonel’s reputation. When she told us what you said, we said it’s true and that we were the friends.”  
  
“And then she ran off in a fit of fright,” Erin admitted.  
  
“To be fair, I don’t think she’s going to ever be believed,” Caliko sighed. “Poor girl, by this point she’s probably at Mr. Willoughby’s place…probably fainted before then and he probably found her.” Caliko rolled her eyes.  
  
Rubbing her forehead, Taylor gestured for them to come in.  
  
“Well, come in…” she murmured.  
  
“Are you okay?” Erin asked as they stepped inside.  
  
“Not really,” Taylor admitted. “But how did you get here?”  
  
“We, uh…kinda sorta asked Sir John to borrow a horse…” Caliko admitted. “And asked how to get here…”  
  
“We didn’t tell him why, we just said we needed to see you for urgent matters,” Erin kicked off her shoes. “Gosh I hate those.”  
  
“Mrs. Dashwood was fairly upset, but she didn’t tell us we couldn’t go so we did,” Caliko finished.  
  
“Well, both of you know it’s going to be an overnight thing?” Taylor asked. “Because I’m not letting either of you try to go back at night.”  
  
“Of course,” Caliko grinned. “I was hoping it would be.”  
  
“Good,” Taylor nodded. “Because I need to eat and I don’t know how to cook.”  
  
“ _YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO COOK?!_ ” both Erin and Caliko gasped.  
  
“Not particularly…” Taylor admitted.  
  
“Come on, let’s see what we can make!” Caliko grabbed Taylor’s hand and dragged her into the kitchen. “Let’s see…what do we have…”  
  
“I uh was hoping…maybe we could make…tacos?” Taylor asked. “I’ve been craving tacos…”  
  
“Fair enough, I have been too…” Erin agreed.  
  
“Well, I suppose you have a garden…find some leafy greens,” Caliko agreed.  
  
“I see a cheese wheel over there,” Erin nodded. “I can cut some up.”  
  
“I think I see some stuff I could try making quick tortillas with,” Caliko nodded. “WE ARE HAVING TACOS AND NOTHING WILL STOP US GIRLS FROM HAVING TACOS.”  
  
All three of them busted out laughing: tacos were of course the best food ever. 


End file.
